The story or I'd rather say "nightmare" that I'm about to tell was the worst day of my life. I don't expect just anyone to understand or much rather even feel the least bit of empathy unless you've actually lost a pet. It was the month of July 2016. I had found this mysterious wound on punkee, my dog & it had been irritating her. I quickly ran to my sister terrified & yelling. I then had told my parents after. My mom had taken my dog to the vet 2 weeks later & the vet said that there was nothing to worry about & prescribed medications for her. I spent every night sleeping beside her, cleaning up her vomit, & giving her medications ever since that day. About a week later She had lost so much energy & struggled to even stand at this point. The next day I decided to take her out for a little run since she loved running so much. That's when I realized that something was really wrong. She laid down on the concrete floor of my backyard & I had to lift her up & take her back home as tears slowly began to drop down my face. The day after that my parents, sister, & I had woken up early in the morning to take punkee to the animal hospital. We took punkee a bath & I stood with her outside on my front porch so she would dry off. She laid beside me as I rubbed her head & stomach. After she dried off I grabbed her dog stroller & placed her inside. Yeah I know what you're thinking... "a dog stroller? Really?". We drove off to the animal hospital & I was terrified, nervous, sad but Some where in between all these emotions I had this sense of relief. Relief because I had this crazy illusion that they'd cure my "punkee baby" (I'd yell that name every time I came back home from school.) I hated to see my dog suffering because she was the most happiest & loving dog I'd ever met. Every since second grade I had friends who came & left but she stayed. My dog wasn't just any ordinary dog & once again I don't expect just anyone to understand. Im not an emotional person nor do I like expressing myself because I hate the thought or feeling of other feeling sympathy for me... & No, I'm not being overdramatic either. My dog simply meant so much to me. Anyways going back to the story... As we stepped into the animal hospital, the front desk had seen us & told us to way until her name was called. This young man stepped out & had called my dogs name, "punkee? Punkee?". We then got up & the guy came to us & had taken my dog in a room to inject an iv incision. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, my dog wasn't eating nor drinking water at this point therefore she'd lost all her nutrients, fluids, along with her strength as well. The veterinatarian had stepped out & called us into the room where my dog was at. I didn't want to see my dog suffering or in pain so I refused to go in. I waited outside in the waiting room nervous out my mind. My mom & sister then had came out the room tearing & I began to laugh because I refused to believe that this was such a serious situation. I've been with my dog for 10 years! I couldn't imagine losing her. We then waited again until the veterinarian had came out to tell us what was really wrong. It felt like hours had passed before she came out. When she finally called my dogs name we all quickly circled around her. "Hey guys, so your dogs kidneys seems to not be working too well & she has a tumor which looks malignant... surgery is an option but she will be suffering &
I can't guarantee you that surgery would save her. I think it's best if you guys decide on placing her to sleep...". My heart dropped. I fell onto the seat in back of me. I began to cry & yell. I didn't care about who was watching me. I blocked everyone & everything out. My mom & sister began to cry & I was so shocked because I had never ever seen my mother cry. We decided on putting her to sleep because we'd hate to see her suffer. The vet asked us if we'd like to be in the room while they were placing her to sleep & we said yes. We then walked into the room & I saw my little baby wiggling her tail with so much excitement, confusion, & pain. We had about 10 minutes to say our final goodbyes. I began talking to my dog about all our memories through out the years as if she were just another regular human being. That's when I realize that no matter whether it's "simply" an animal or a human, once you've spent & have gotten used to someone or something & have shared many wonderful memories together it's difficult to let go. The vet had came in the room 10 minutes later & had asked us if we'd like to keep her ashes. My face dropped. "It's really happening" I thought to myself. We all responded "yes we want her ashes!". "It'll be mailed to you in about 3 weeks from now" she said. "Alright now that you've said your goodbyes.. let's uh let's begin the process" she said.
It was time. I began to pet punkee as they injected her with an overdose of anesthesia. She slowly began to fall into a deep sleep. As she took her final breaths I was by her side comforting her. It was over. She was gone. I touched her chest hoping to feel that heartbeat of hers & there's was obviously nothing there anymore. I walked out the room crying hysterically. Everyone in the waiting room was giving me their most sincere condolences. I had left the animal hospital with an empty dog stroller & full of so much sadness. As I got home I locked myself in my brothers room & dropped onto the floor on the same spot under the bed where she would always be. I just began to lay there & cry. I spent weeks avoiding my house. I'd just go home & straight to sleep at night. I think about my dog every single day that passes. I'd try finding comfort in my friends but they would never be able to relate to my situation. They'd just say "get another dog" "you're being dramatic" "it's just a dog" & so on. If you did lose or lost dog before, I understand how you feel. I wish someone would've been able to relate to where I was coming from or just simply tell me that they know how I felt even if they were lying.
