short stories

8

the list of little things i have thought, or others' that i have found interesting, and written down these past two years

also the poems that didn't quite make it into poems

young and beautiful

stop 

i pick up my order
#7391
very brown hashbrowns
very mushy rice
very crispy fries
very strange life

repressed because they don't embrace the change, based on experience

any change / no change

orange shameless
shameless orange

art without fear

good heart= pumps blood efficiently

destructive species
haunted eyelids
words
our latest nightmare
one word to separate life from its opposite
one last word to find
and to destroy also

Heart free yet constrained

who are you trying to convince?

myself.

one day- very far.

i didn't want it

it should have never happened to me

i am not nervous

i am terrified

when he cannot stop writing
he puts down his quill
and sleeps
with sweet smells
of pale blue sugar pulls
on his lips
and 暗 blue sour pills
on his hands

you smile like the world is going to die if you don't 

Durante sensations I help ease the pain 

soap chérie

throwing away words like waste
thoughts swarming free
As long as everything's out

every text sent with meaning

wait for them to come to you

why the girl doesn't continue straight will forever be a mystery to me 

when i love you doesn't cut it
what have we become?

always zoning out
always being a dreamer

come on, sherry, put on that pretty mask that hides your face so well. i know you can do it, just this time, just one more time on top of every other time, and I mean does this time really compare to the others, even? 

music heals the soul quite well

So, hello. I know I turn to you a lot. I really can't help it, I don't think I could rely on anyone else the I way I do so on you. What my aim is I don't know yet- the future has never seemed so unclear. I'm not sure if I fear change or inertia, lack of knowledge or an infinite influx, not sleeping until eyes could be peeled off like stickers or laying unconscious on the floor until true love's kiss never revives.
The only inevitable is piles of homework and many cold nights. Also, silent crying competitions with a two year old twit one might call my cousin, in which I would probably admit defeat eight times out of fifteen. Also, my mother calling this entry a dairy, and my piano teacher's past pupil Jasmine. This is wrong because even if this was a diary entry, which it definitely poses not to be, her name is Yasmin. This, of course, should not make any sense to you.

i absolutely wish to pour the contents of my heart out into one pixel of space, and really the value would be gone by morning. the orange tint blinds me, the spades showing through disturb others. i'm not sure how to approach this situation, i'm not sure if i should, but i will and i'll do it so well that nobody will question my godliness ever again. of course, then there's myself, who will forever be scrutinizing my careless errors, as in why would i ever say her name out loud? that's how russia got neighbors to turn on each other, isn't it? done.

crazily arbitrary head shaking and nodding
where will those memories go

b minor a major g major a major/d major
this ones for the unspoken bonds
breathing slowly collecting dust
graphite covered free response
one last chance to unleash the doves
f major g minor
f c g a f c g f

soporific
pop sugar shock sugar

death eyes

i can't tell whether
i hate
you just
i don't want
i won't feel
i won't fall
i can't fall
i

how it really strikes me would be as disconcerting, the way you flip your heavily marred shutters, although whether to be appalled or admired is up entirely to the Gods

the funny thing is i can't seem to get a single poem down on paper anymore
for honesty's sake
i have no idea what to do
perhaps the problem is the necessity
essentiality i feel
it was much different before
my shutters felt less dangerous
my nail discs less susceptible
it was much different now

one day i think i will just wake up to fall back asleep again
and hopefully that day i don't notice the way my left eye is tilted differently from my right or the rawness of sleep deprivation or reminiscence of things that could have been but shouldn't have been and hopefully another day i realize that but not this day this day will be absolutely devoid of blank stares and eye rolling and nasty thoughts like "what am i wearing" or even pleasant thoughts like "yes, that's the right dress" if that is even applicable because of course on this day i will not think of material
there!
in other words this entire page is hot, hot rubbish

part 1