Playing the Field

You Again

Drill insisted on staying in the car, saying he'll be there for moral support.

My brain is racing as to who could possibly show up to the apartment unannounced and uninvited.

I jog the stairs, trying to ignore Landon's blue Chevy Malibu. I don't see any other cars I recognize. I quickly scale the steps, eager to see a familiar and friendly face. I wonder who missed me so much they thought a personal visit was in order.

I unlock the door and the smile on my face disappears, "Mother?"

She had been staring disdainfully at the furniture, "Who on earth picked out this decor? Surely you didn't let your grandfather shop."

"No, Mother, Drill and I did it together."

She nods, like that clears everything, "Drill doesn't have much taste, does he. Then again look at what barbaric circumstances he was raised in."

Right away my blood boils and my vision blurs. I don't bother correcting and educating her on Drills background. "Why are you here?"

She stiffens then something about her changes. I see my mother, for the first time ever, look soft. Downright vulnerable.

"I never wanted to be like this," she confesses.

I blink and try to see through any façade she may have, "Like what?"

She wipes a tear, "Like your grandmother. No, not my mother, but your fathers. This may be hard to believe, but I wasn't always like this. I didn't used to care about status and money and looks and if the couches matches the coffee table. It wasn't until we got engaged that Eleanor cracked down on me. She crushed my spirit. She took the light and youth out of my eyes. Made me feel like I wasn't good enough for her son or her high class society. I didn't meet her impossible standards and she'd pin it all on my parents and say I was never loved if their offspring could be so wild.

"I had tattoos, got them laser removed decades ago. Eleanor said they were cheap. I dyed my hair crazy colors, my stomach was pierced, I went to concerts and bonfires but was still respectable according to my parents. I remember, one night, your father and I were swimming in that creek you kids would go to. It was so cold that night, we just held each other and swam. That was the night I decided I would stop at no means to fulfill your grandmother's wishes and be the daughter in law she wanted. Despite your father saying I was perfect and he loved me as is."

I made a small, gutteral sound and Mother glanced at me, an amused look in her eyes, "Yes, I know its all hard to believe, but your father and I were in love. He warned me about Eleanor and how she might try to change me. I was cocky. My family had money also and, thought my parents were kinda off the wall, we had a high standing. But that wasn't enough for dear Eleanor. She saw how we looked at each other. Jeb was the love of my life. I would do anything for him and knowing how unwanted I was to his mom, was unbearable.

"And so, I let go of who I was. I handed over my life to her. She molded me as she liked and I allowed her. I spoke properly, I passed judgment. I gossiped and ridiculed. I was hateful and rotten. Yet Jeb still was by my side. He never once brought up divorce. He loved me, but I was too caught up in hate. Then Eleanor passed and shortly after you were brought into this world. After years of her, I don't even know what to call it, I became her. I tried to do as she did with me.

"But you and your father and grandfather weren't having it. In the past, I found it frustrating that I couldn't make myself a perfect daughter, one Eleanor would approve of. It was only recently that I realized I already had the perfect daughter." I'm shocked to see the unshed tears in her eyes. "Avery, I know I've been so ugly to you. I've been horrible to you and nothing will change that. But, I'm sorry. I'm extremely sorry for the torment I put you through and what I said and how I've hurt you."