It's Complicated

This is my story. Period. You can tell my story, but you will never be able to understand it. Its not like any other story out there. It may have the same point to it, but nobody's story will compare to mine. Yet I hope you are effected by this story, because this story might be able to change your life. But, I'm not going to put all that pressure on one little story. Am I?

My story somehow began like any other story, lonely, depression, and all that other crap. I fell into depression because I was a stupid girl who made a huge mistake in life. It was when I was in my freshman year of high school and I was in a Health class. I kept hearing all these girls talk about getting drunk and partying on Saturdays. Oh, how much did I want to be them! Once again, a stupid mistake. I would eavesdrop on their conversations and listen to them tell their juicy stories on what happened the previous Saturday and what they were going to do the up-coming Saturday. I started talking to the group of girls, just hopping one day they would invite me to one of their well-known parties. I kept waiting, I got impatient quickly then finally popped the question. " Could I come to your up-coming party on Saturday?" Now that I think about it, I really sounded desperate. No wonder they said yes. Well the days passed and every day that passed I got more and more excited. Once again, stupid girl behavior. The day finally came and I was filled with all sorts of emotions. Happy, excited, nervous, impatient, and even a little scared. I wasn't sure I wanted to drink yet, but as soon as I got there, I downed three glasses in a couple hours. I stopped then because I didn't want my family to see me go home drunk, that would really get me in trouble. So I started talking with a guy. Yes, I know, a male! And you know whets even more exciting? He's real! So I got to know him better and then he wanted me to have a couple more drinks of the beer. I was up for anything he wanted, once again I was stupid. All I remember was waking up in the same house with a massive hangover. I checked my phone and I had over 100 notifications telling me that people tagged me in posts. I went to go see for myself and there were pictures of me, on the ground, crying, naked. My heart shattered. Did I just have sex whenever I was drunk? "Probably not," I told myself over and over. But every time I told myself that, I was just lying to myself. The truth is, I did lose my virginity that night. I had sex. More like I was raped! Going back to school was extremely hard. I knew that people would probably call me a slut and whore. I never told my parents what happened. I went to school a couple days later and people kept repeating "I bet you didn't come to school because he hurt you that bad!" I started cutting. I didn't care if people saw my cuts or not. And yes, it did hurt to take showers after cutting. It hurt like crap, but pain demands to be felt. Yeah, it does.

                      Authors Note: I have just now gone back to edit this. I will try to make every chapter make even more sense to you now. Once you keep reading, it gets better and better I promise. For example, I just wrote chapter 10 and I believe that will be the best chapter. Please vote and comment. This truly does mean a lot to me. Keep reading my peps. Im so lame, I swear...