It's Complicated

Chapter 3

    I poured at least 10 pills into my hand and got a bottle of water. Before I left the world, I wanted the world to feel my pain too. So I went and made a video on my phone. In the video I was talking about how each person affected my life. Positive or Negative, they somehow affected me and what I was about to do. Then I published on my Facebook, then logged out. See I have trouble swallowing pills so it took me at least 5 mins to get the first three pills down. Then I put the other three in my mouth and got ready to down the rest, in till my mom barged through the door like she was some superwoman saving the day. Well, now that I say it. I'm lucky she did save my life. I looked up at her, with tears in my eyes pouring out onto my cheeks. I just looked into a disappointed parents eyes, and they were my moms. I could hear her disappointment. She made me spit out the pills and to tell her why I wanted to end my pathetic life. I spit out the pills and for the first time in forever I talked to someone who actually cared about me. It felt great to at least have one person listen to my story and why I did the things I did. She just tried to look like she understood my pain but nobody will understand how much depression I went through. Everyday I was contemplating death, over and over, in till the thought finally sounded so good. I told her everything, except the freshman party. Then my mom told me she was going to sign me up for classes at the hospital that was supposed to make your life better. My life was only heading in one direction and it wasn't the road I'm supposed to be on. I went to the meetings and gatherings and they actually helped me raise my self up off the ground and into the clouds with the rest of the regular people. I went to school and people actually stopped making fun of me. It was shocking almost. Everybody showed me respect and if I ever was without a pencil, I would get a free one from a random stranger. I guess some of my classmates saw the video I posted or it was some rumor saying that I gave birth to some special needs kid and everybody felt bad. I really didn't care at the time, all I was focused on was my ACT scores so I can apply for a scholarship. I studied more than ever. I met some new friends that understood me and tried to lift my spirit. I started to love life again. I graduated as Valedictorian and got several scholarships to different colleges. I got a scholarship to University of Kentucky, which had been on my top 3. I got one from the University of New York. I got one from the University of Louisville. I ended up choosing the University of Kentucky. I loved school and I met a ton of new people. That when I found another guy who I liked, but would never love like the other one. He was such a sweet guy. He was getting a degree in the Medical field so I decided it would be absolutely great to be with him, so we could have some money. I started to flirt and he always flirted back but 10x better. He finally asked me out and I said yes. I graduated and became a therapist. I helped teens with issues at school or at their homes. I ran across a teen with the same problem I had. That's when I had to tell myself that I have to give her advice that I would be gave myself when I was her age. And I finally said......