Lifeless | editing

- 2

st kayden's mental hospital.

( switches in between Alina's POV & Jordan )

Alina's POV.

i looked at her up and down, licking my lips awkwardly. "come in, it seems like you're pretty pissed. " she said, worryingly. i like this girl, she kind of cool already. "okay, um whats your name?" i asked coming in her room, it was a lightly colored yellow and a regular hospital bed with stuffed animals, how old was she? "im Jordan, but call me jay." she said smiling " and you" , i looked at her " im Alina, but call me.. Alina pf" i said. "okay, well when i first saw you really, you were in the hospital bed, being rushed to the emergency room. they said you attempted suicide? is that true?" i looked at her and turned my head, a little. i was embarrassed then i opened my mouth and tried to speak but the words didnt come out, i thought.

flashback.

i finally opened the medicine bottle as i held it up close to my mouth throwing them back far as possible drowning myself with water afterwards I then sat there and thought on what had happened during school

flashback.

"you are nothing to the world if you ever thought about killing yourself nobody would give a damn anyways 'she laughs" the words couldn't disappear from my mind and before i knew it, i got dizzy and blacked out. i only remember waking up in the hospital bed, vision blurry.

back to reality.

"i dont usually tell my business to strangers, but you seem like good company.. yes, i tried to kill myself. i was at my lowest point in my life, depression took over. i cared about everyone and at the end, nobody really had the same amount of care and love for me and its crazy." i said wiping my eyes, i started to cry. she looked at me, then grabbed my arms and pulled me into a hug. i felt safe in her arms, but i didn't know about it, i can't trust my thoughts. "man, i've been thru the same as you, depression is something that has always kept me from being social with people and losing trust for certain people. but you have to learn that letting people or your so called "friends" close to you, close enough to them potentially hurt you..is a big no no." she said, looking at me and i felt that she was right about everything she was saying, i'd always been too nice. "you're right, i need to work on somethings, and soon i'll know my purpose again.

Jordan's POV.

17

" ill know my purpose again." as soon as i heard those words come out of her mouth, i laid back and somehow got lost in my thoughts. i hadn't known my purpose in life. i've tried to end my life so many times, self harm, overdose, drowning. been depressed for years ever since my grandmother and dad died back to back. some people can relate to me & what i've been through. but the girl i just met, her names Alina and she's really strong because i've had so many menatl breakdowns. everything she's been through i've been through, and i feel a connection in here with her. i dropped out of school my freshman year, i couldnt deal with people, drama & relationships. the girls used to pick on me for not liking male genitals and males..period. I'm gay and a lot of people at that school had problems with it. this girl alina kind of caught my eye though, she brownskin with a poke and some short natural curly hair. i aint even gon lie, shorty was bad.

11:00 PM at st.kaydenś mental hospital in Alina's room.

( journal writing )

I think its pretty cool they let us have journals in here to jot down any of our thoughts, because writing is what I love to do. I write books, thoughts, poems anything. thats how I escape from this twisted world. Me and Jordan talked for a while then they told us we had to go to our rooms. I kind of attract towards her, I don't know if she likes girls though.

6:05 AM

I woke up and laid in this uncomfortable bed, trying to position myself in a comfortable one. I heard the phone ring at the nurses station, annoying ring, it just rang and rang and rang. I started to drift back off to sleep, but was interuppted but the nurse or whoever she is. She came in and stood at my bed with a cup with 2 pills and water. "these are your anti-depressants Alina, you either take them or you don't, i wont pressure you, and also breakfast is in 30 minutes" she said, with an attitude. i took the cup and the water and looked in the cup and rolled my eyes, ill pass. i got up and walked into the snug bathroom in my room, i pulled the toothbrush from out the paper towel i put it in and began to brush my teeth, washing my face afterwards. i looked into the shower and turn the knob to hot. someone knocked on my door as i was entering the shower, so i wrapped my towel around and opened the door, it was jay, i smiled.

"goodmonring loveb- um, did i interupt something?" jordan said, laughing. "nah, i was just about to shower, you can wait if you want." i said, walking back to the bathroom. "alright, ill be here, but hurry breakfast is in 20 minutes ma." she said, licking her lip, looking at me. i took a quick shower and washed everything and got out, i put on grey jogging pants and a pink shirt and the nike slides my aunt bought here for me, i put water in my hair so my curls would pop. I came back out and looked a jay, she was walking around my room. "you ready?" i asked her. "oh shi- yeah im ready" she said, walking toward the door. we walked to breakfast and i scrunched my nose up. "don't do that, these people will take that the wrong way." i relaxed my face and we found a seat and i just stared at the ceiling.