~ Hospitalized for attempted suicide, but she doesn't remember. Flashbacks aren't anything new for her as they play over in her mind of traumatic experiences. While locked in what she feels is a jail, she finds a new love but is soon taken away from...
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after breakfast folks all returned to their rooms, but the nurse had reported to me that id have to come with her to 'the question room' and that sounds so retarded, sounds like a movie name. but, i followed her and we went down the hall, the hallways were long and on the sides of us were half vacant rooms with just a hospital bed and a chair , the rooms had no color to them and looked scary to sleep in. i started to open my mouth but we were already at the door and she opened the door. there sat my mother, my mothers boyfriend and that lady with the pants suit again. I sat down and lowered my head and felt all eyes beaming on me. "Alina, were here to help" I heard my mothers voice and looked up. "ma, you've always NEVER been there for me and you come here to put on this mask and say you want to help but in reality you don't." my stepdad spoke "Alina, we understand your frustration and we know that you're sad he-" i cut him off "im more happier then ive ever been here than at the house, all you do is agree with my mom because you don't want her to put you back on the street." I said, looking at him, he shut up. female. "Lina, i want you home." i looked at her when she called me lina and started to tear up a little "don't call me that, you only want me home to tell me what I'm doing will " make your auntie sad " and to do your dishes , straighten up your room , WASH YOUR CLOTHES. all you do is lay up under this man. im more important then him mom im your ONLY child" i said, as tears dripped from my watery eyes. they all looked at me in shock. "okay well, um i can sense tension and i don't want this to get more serious than it is, so Alina can you come with me please?" she got up "gladly" i said , I was mad and still crying i had stormed out. "Alina, i know that this hard for you right now. Would you just like to go back to your room?" she asked , showing remorse on her face. i nodded and shuffled to my room, in a hurry with my head down. suddenly, I had bumped into Jordan. "Alinaa, what's wrong yo!" she lifted my head up and looked at me. "nothing im fine, ill..ill be fine." I pushed her off me and went my room, closing my door after me and went in the bathroom and sat on the floor.
flashback. the razor seemed to look like a way out. I slid the razor across my wrist deepening the blade onto my veins as I bit the towel to silent the screams. my mom had ignored me all day and distanced herself. friends lost due to me being who i am. trust gone for everyone who said they loved me. lifeless is just what ill be. but, they'll soon remember me.
flashback over.
i sat there and thought and looked around at something that could end me. i hated my mom, she was never on my side. she was the reason why im always depressed. i hate being in that house with her and her boyfriend, all they do is drink, sex, complain and boss me around like im not turning 18. I was so done with her and me. i got up and looked in the mirror. the face that looked back at me was drained and misunderstood. i couldn't believe that , that was me in the mirror looking back at myself. i walked out the bathroom and Jordan was sitting on my bed, I looked at her and stood in the doorway of the bathroom. "don't look at me." i said, looking down and my toes. "im sorry for grabbing you like that in the hallway." she got up and walked towards me. "it's fine though, im fine" I told her and faked a smile. "you're fine? okay so if you were fine you wouldn't be on that bathroom floor crying Alina." she said, lifting my head up with her hand. I looked at her "it's just a lot jay, my mom came up here and acted like she cared about me and my well being..all she cares about is herself jay. it's hard." i told her, beginning to cry again. Jordan hugged me when seemed like forever, me being in her arms made me feel safe, but once again my thoughts cannot be trusted.
saturday : 9:30AM ( movie and game day )
it took me a long time for me to wake up, but when my eyes finally opened I was laid next to Jordan in my bed.
