Lifeless | editing

- 4

I sat up in the bed looking over at Jordan then I shook her shoulder trying to wake her up. She shot up in the bed almost making me fall off. "HUH?" she said, I laughed. "Nothing, why you in my bed girl?" I said laughing at her. She looked down at the covers, "I thought I went back to my room but I guess not." She got up slipping her houses shoes back on and looked at me. "Imma go take a shower alright? I'll be back to come get you for breakfast" she smiled and hurried out of the room, closing the door." I nodded and got up, going into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, and washed my face. I had took a shower last night so I put on some grey joggers and a medium hospital shirt that read "st.kaydens", socks and my slides. I put my head in the small sink and rinsed my hair with water & dried it. I fingered my curls and left out the bathroom, out my room and walked down the all to Jordan's room and went it. "You read-" I walked in the room into the bathroom and looked in the bathroom at her on the floor. "JORDAN!" I crouched down and shook her by her shoulders, then lifted her head up seeing that her head was bleeding and the sink was dripping blood. "YOO! WAKE UP OMG!" I ran out the room down to the nurses station down the hall "JORDAN SHES..SHES BLEEDING FROM HER HEAD I THINK SHE TRIED TO HURT HERSELF." Everyone started rushing to her room, including me but one male nurse held me back, trying to calm me down and told everyone to go in their room and I went in my room. I sat on the bed and stared crying, I didn't know why. Did I like her? Did I LOVE her? I don't know, I sat there.."but we didn't even go out" I was thinking out loud "how did I love her, I don't love anyone" I laid back in my head and closed my eyes trying to calm down, I fell in my thoughts.

flashback
My mom sat on my bed and looked at me. "What?" I asked her. "You were never meant to be born, I was going to abort you. But I was so generous enough to have you and you turn out like this?" I looked at her and lowered my head. "YOU HEAR ME TALKING TO YOU ALINA." she lifted my head by my chin and slapped my cheek. "TURN OUT LIKE WHAT MOM? MYSELF? YOU THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSE TO TURN OUT LIKE YOU? YOU'RE A MESS, YOU'RE A DRUG ADDICT AND EXPECT ME TO BE LIKE YOU? ILL NEVER BE NOTHING LIKE YOU." I got up and ran in the bathroom, closing the door behind me and got the razor blade.

back to reality

I stared at the ceiling and the door shot open by a female nurse and she walked over to my bed. "Alina, your friend Jordan has died, due to the amount of blood she lost in her head." I looked at her in all shock and started to burst out in tears.