Fighting Chance

Why isnt he crying?

Zosia POV

I'm awoken to the sound of beeping all around me. I can faintly here Mr T speaking to Ollie;

"We need to get the babies out ASAP or we have a high chance of losing them...and also Zosia".

I chose to ignore what Mr T said, although it started playing over and over again in my head like a broken record. No one was certain as to why I started bleeding and then collapsed. They were all saying that I need to deliver the babies before any tests were done. I was just ready to have the twins and go home.

"Ollie...what's happening?" I ask barely awake. "They are just prepping you to take you into theatre to deliver the babies. We are going to be parents soon. You're going to be okay Zosh, and so are the boys" Ollie replies, kissing me gently on the forehead.

~~ in theatre ~~

I'm now fully aware of my surroundings and I know everything that's happening. I'm lying on the table, ready to have my stomach opened and deliver my two baby boys. I have never felt so nervous.

"Baby A is about to make an appearance, you'll feel some pushing and tugging, this is completely normal" Mr T informs me.

I can feel the baby being pulled out but soon after he is born I hear no cry. "Ollie...Ollie...why isn't he crying? Why isn't my baby crying?" I'm starting to panic.

Ollie POV

Baby A has just been born. I haven't heard him cry yet. Zosia is lying on the table begging me to answer why our son wasn't crying. I couldn't say anything. I walk over to where he is lying with a neonatal doctor and two nurses working on him.

"Is he alright?" I ask concerningly. The doctor looks at me and slightly shakes his head. My son was dead. How am I meant to tell Zosia? The chances of baby B being stillborn were now even higher. Zosia will never get through it if both her children were dead.

"They are just working on him" I say to Zosia without giving her any false hope. "Baby B is about to make his entrance, let's just focus on that for now". Out the corner of my eye, I catch the doctors taking my first son out the room, all wrapped in a white hospital blanket. That's going to be the hardest thing ever to tell Zosia.

"And baby B is here". A loud cry enters the room. A huge grin appears on my face. I look over to Zosia who didn't show any emotion at all, just a single tear rolling down the side of her face.

Zosia POV

I didn't show any emotion. How could I? I knew that baby A was dead. I knew instantly. I didn't want to let Ollie see me but I could tell he knew as his eyes said everything they needed to. I see him walk over with baby B, our rainbow baby. He's absolutely gorgeous. But he is meant to be a twin, that is only one half of a whole.

~~ recovery room ~~

I hadn't spoken a single word since leaving theatre. Ollie was pacing up and down the room with our son. I can hear the small gurgling sounds coming from him. Nothing was making me smile. I was longing for just a split second of happiness but I couldn't find it.

"Someone wants to come meet his mummy" Ollie comes and places him in my arms. I stare at him and I just burst out crying. I don't know whether they are happy tears or sad tears. Something did change. I couldn't take my eyes off him. No one was going to ever take him. I will never leave him out of sight.

"Zac, his name is Zac. Zac Valentine" I tell Ollie. I said to Ollie to name baby A as I couldn't bear thinking of naming my dead son. He chose Noah, which means 'rest comfortably' in the bible. I never said any opinions on the name, just a nod.

Ollie came to take Zac off me as I was falling asleep but I wouldn't let him anywhere near him.

Ollie POV

Zosia was almost asleep. She was still holding Zac. Every time I tried to take him off her she just shouted at me and told me to stay away from him. As I saw her eyes finally close I lifted Zac off her and put him in his crib. I sat down next to Zosia and held her hand.

Something wasn't right.

~~~~

So the ending was a bit weird there. I didn't know how to end this chapter. Sorry this part is quite long, I'm trying to make them as short as possible, but with all the relevant details I need. It's from now on that Zosia will start to relapse. Thanks for reading, hope you're all enjoying it so far.