Chosen?

Chapter 18: Room 319

"Room 319," the front desk clerk said sliding a plastic card in front of Scorpius.

I looked around the lobby, everything seemed to be happening far, far away from me in a completely different world. My mind was hazy and the only thought I could process was the fact that I failed at getting the one thing I needed to defeat Voldemort.

I heard Scorpius say thank you as he quietly paid for the hotel room and led me to the elevator. I had seen an elevator before but not like this, this one only went up and down as Scorpius pressed a button that matched the first one of our room number. The elevator squeaked loudly as it went up to the third floor. There was a quiet ding and the elevator door opened again, Scorpius stepped out and held out his hand for me to take.

I nodded and took his hand as he slowly led me to the room. I knew that he could tell that I was out of it as he led me passed the long corridor of rooms, 311, 312, 313, 314. I walked slowly behind him until we got to the room labeled with a brass plate that read 319. Scorpius slid the small plastic card into the door handle and it flashed green before opening.

I followed Scorpius into the small room that held one bed, a brown and orange armchair and a small bathroom. I glanced into the tiny bathroom and saw the lights flicker slightly when the door closed. Scorpius walked over to the large window and looked through the semi-translucent curtains. His shoulders were stiff and he pulled the curtains closed again and stared at them.

I sat down at the foot of the bed and stared at the orange wall, it reminded me of my old dirty Chudley Cannon's shirt that used to belong to James. I would wear that shirt like my life depended on it when I was younger and refused to let my mother was it as I thought it gave me luck when I played against my brothers. I looked down at my hands that were nursing small cuts from pulling stubborn weeds earlier in the day. My hands, face, and hair were incredibly dirty.

Scorpius sat down on the other side of the bed, "What are you thinking about?" he asked softly.

I laughed lightly, "How I need to take a shower," I said.

Scorpius nodded, "There is a bathroom, lily," He said softly.

I nodded, "I know," I said looking up at him, "I'll be out in a minute," I said getting up and pulling out a clean pair of pajamas to change into after I took a shower. I walked into the white tiled bathroom and closed the door behind me.

The lights flickered as I walked over to the shower and turned on the water. I walked over to the door and hung my clothes on the hook and laid the pajamas on the counter by the sink. I stepped into the shower and stood there letting the water run over me. I wanted the water to fix this to make everything go away, I wanted the water to give me the damned Horcrux.

I laughed lightly as I thought about how my family would be frantically looking for me and how much I just wanted to run into my father's arms and have him fix everything. My father was a great man who had promised me when I feared the monsters in my closet that he would always protect me. My father was a great man who believed in me when my brothers made bets on how long I could stay on my broom. My father, who defeated the dark lord, who loved and protected his children, who was there for everything, was at home probably scared out of his wits because I thought I could handle this.

"Stupid, Idiot," I said as I felt tears stinging at my eyelids. I was letting everyone around me risk their lives for an impossible mission, there was no way I could get that bloody Horcrux and there was no way I could defeat him.

I let loud ugly sobs rake over my body as I grabbed the wall for support. I couldn't hold back the loud cries and all I could do was to stand there and shake defenselessly as the pain and fear I was feeling ripped my heart open and shook through my whole body.