Marry me? (BWWM ROMANCE)

Talk

Opal

‘Please oh, please don’t deny my application’ I silently prayed while sitting beside Brendan in the waiting room. “Relax, I’m sure it’s fine” he comforted me by holding my hand, while this may be the most stressful day of my life I was happy to have him beside me. “They’re ready for you” the receptionist announced, and we made our way to the conference room. I was planning on seeing a board of people but only saw a middle aged black man sitting across the table. I knew he was the twin’s father by the way his nose and mouth looked, also he was the same chocolate shade as them. He was staring down at the table with a distant look. “Hello, Mr. Greyson’ I said gaining his attention “Oh, I didn’t hear you guys come in please take a seat” He snapped out of his trance and shook our hands.

“So, Mrs. Betty said something concerned you in our application?” I asked ready to get down to business, if there was something threatening my chances of being a mother it needed to be addressed quickly. “Yes, well something came up in the background check that worried me” he explained, “Yes well I think I can explain” I replied earning a confused look from him and Brendan “When I was 16 I was sent to a health center for an eating disorder. It was a long time ago and I have conquered it since then” I held my breath and waited for his reply. “Oh wow” he seemed surprised as if he had no idea what I was talking about. RING.RING. “Sorry its my clinic I need to take this” I said excusing myself from the room.

Brendan
“I take it she doesn’t know?” Mr. Greyson asked me, after Opal left the room “No, and I ask that you don’t tell her. I want to handle that myself” I explained and he nodded “Trust me I get it, but you can see how this concerns me. I mean an addiction is a big thing to fight on its own and having a child in the mix can’t help” He sighed “I understand, but I’m sure you’ve seen in my file that I have been clean for over 5 years. It was during a time where I was dealing with a lot at that time.” I defended “Yeah I got a Brother going through the same thing with HIV, I know it’s tough. But.. I have to say I’m a little iffy on everything” he voiced his concerns and I felt my blood run cold. I was terrified of being the reason Opal couldn’t get the children she so desperately wanted. “Look, I know this is not what you were looking for. Hell I can’t say I would be okay with ex- junkie watching my kids. I had just turned 16 and was under the impression that I was going to die to some bullshit disease my stupid mother gave me, so I gave up on life and used drugs to end it. It was dumb and I got help, I haven’t touched a needle in years and I don’t plan on going back down that road ever again.” I pleaded for him to understand. “I don’t know” He sighed, I could see he was still on the fence “If you don’t believe me that’s fine, but don’t do this to Opal. She loves those kids and would be an amazing mother. She is smart, honest, and the most generous person in the world. Without her I wouldn’t be sitting here today, without her many people like me wouldn’t be here either. She inspires people to be better, to keep pushing even when they think they have hit their limits. Your children would be lucky to have her in their life, so if you have to then take me out of the picture and give her the twins.” I prayed he listened to me and gave her the chance to be a mother, because I know if I cost her the twins, I would never forgive myself. “You know what, let’s give this a shot. I’ve been where you are, but alcohol was my vice, if it wasn’t for Heather I don’t think I would be here today.” In that moment I saw so much of myself in him, I couldn’t say that I wouldn’t feel just as lost if Opal died. “Okay, I’m back did I miss anything” Opal said walking into the room, and taking her seat next to me. “No I think we’re good here. “ He closed the file he had open on me “So what does that mean?” I heard the fear in her voice “It means that, I think you two will be great parents for the twins” He smiled, and Opal exhaled with a sigh of relief, I looked at Mr. Greyson and saw a little of the concern he had has dissipated. “Oh thank you so much, you will not be disappointed” Opal hugged him and I couldn’t help but smile, after everything she has done for me it was nice to finally give back.

Opal
Brendan and I were driving back home from the meeting with Mr. Greyson, and while I was happy as ever to know I was getting the twins something still concerned me about the meeting. “So what happened when I left?” I asked Brendan, still a bit suspicious about why he called us to chat if it wasn’t about my eating disorder, then what? “Don’t worry he wasn’t worried about you he was concerned about me” He explained “What? Why?. It couldn’t be because of your disease right?” I felt my start boiling up, no one should be able to judge someone based on something beyond their control. “No, he doesn’t’ care about that. He was afraid that I would relapse to doing heroin again” His voice was laced with shame “What?!?” I was stunned, how is it that I’ve known him all this time and missed something as big as that. “Remember, when I told you I was going away to some big culinary college?” He asked and I nodded “I lied, I was going to rehab.” I was stunned silent by his confession, I sunk further into my seat, and did my best to recap any missing signs of a problem. “I can’t believe I never knew” I gazed out the window, questioning the longest friendship of my life. “Yeah, well I guess I’m not the only one good at hiding” He replied referencing my eating disorder. “Oh don’t even think of trying to compare the two. “Heroin could kill you, do you know how many people die daily from that shit” I turned from the window to face him, there was no way in hell he was going to make me the bad guy. “Yeah I do, I also know how many women starve themselves to death….I mean how could you ever be that stupid” He snapped at me like I was a child.
“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?!? I had a small problem with bulimia sue me, I was a young girl sporting a size 12 while every girl I knew was a size 2. I felt unwanted and ugly, from what I saw the only way to be beautiful was to lose weight so I did something dumb and payed the price at a two week clinic. Fine, I admit my faults, but how dare you sit there and look down on me like you didn’t just tell me that you used to shoot up. Fuck Brendan, I don’t even know who you are?” He shot me a look of confusion “I’m the man I’ve always been” He looked back at the road, after cutting me a hurt glance. “Are you because three days ago, you were a man that would never keep anything from me. Over the past two days I have learned that you are HIV positive and had a drug addiction.” He cringed as I stated the facts “I know” He gripped the steering wheel tightly, and I saw the war raging on in his head. “You realize that I’m going to be a mother soon right?” I asked, while I still loved Brendan these past few days have made me question who he is. ‘I would never do anything to put those kids in danger, I’ve been clean for over 5 years and I don’t plan to ever go back” The tears began to well up in his eyes, and I felt like the world’s biggest prick. “I know you wouldn’t, Its just … I think we go home and have a long talk. After tonight I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. Agreed?” I asked “Agreed” He nodded. This was going to be a long night.
Brendan
I would give anything in the world to skip this conversation, I thought sitting on the sofa in my apartment. “Alright, so do you want to start?” Opal said reappearing from her room dressed in her ‘comfy clothes’. “Well, how did it start? You’re eating disorder” I worded it as best as I could, without letting my emotions get the best of me. “Wow-well, I was fourteen and I saw an interview on some trash talk show about bulimia. Of course the show was dedicated to helping women get over this disorder, but my stupid mind heard a girl say she lost 15 pounds in a week and jumped at the opportunity. Looking back I can see how dumb it was, but I wanted to look beautiful for once.” She hung her head as she told her story. “My turn, When did you start doing Heroin?” she asked, holding nothing back. “For four years, it started after graduation I was still coming to terms with being HIV positive, my best friend was leaving for her dream college, and I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. Needless to say I was having a rough time, and like the young idiot I was I decided to go to my mother for help. Not for money or anything, I just wanted to be beside her, maybe be told that everything would be okay, or that she loved me any kind word would have helped. So I went looking for her at the strip club she worked at, unfortunately all I found was her getting high with dealer. He must have smelled misery on me, because before I knew it he was going on and on about how he knew something to take the stress away. Like the dumbass that I was I trusted him, before I knew it I was shooting up with my mom.” I didn’t dare look up and see the pity in her eyes.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” Her voice was dripping with controlled rage. “What?” I was taken aback from her reaction. “Why.Didnt.You.Come.To.Me?” She enunciated her words by poking me in the chest. “You were on your way to Harvard, you were going to live your dream. I thought you were going to go off and marry some bigshot doctor and forget all about me. You didn’t need me anymore you were on your way to a world I could never fit in to so I thought I was doing you a favor by staying out of the way” I hated how much it still hurt, even more I hated the way she looked at me. God I wish this night would end.

Opal

I was stunned silent, How could Brendan ever think that I would want him ‘out-of-the-way’, “Brendan, there has never been a time in my life where I didn’t need you. You are my best friend, and the man I have loved since I was a child. If I have ever done anything to make you think less, than forgive me.” I could see that this tore at him for a while now. “Opal, it wasn’t your fault. You have done nothing, but be there a better friend than I deserve. I have no excuse other than I was pitying myself, thinking I was doomed to end up like my mother. Luckily I snapped out of it before I got myself killed” he shot me his slanted smile, all the while hiding his shame. “Hey, we both did things we aren’t proud of, it happens” I shrugged holding his hands in mine, I was ready to let the past go and move forward. “So what about us?” He asked hesitantly. “You know how I feel about you Brendan, that will never change” I replied “Glad to hear it” He leaned in for a kiss when my phone started to ring “Ugh, give me a minute” I excused myself to answer my phone.

Brendan

I was grinning from ear to ear. I had confessed the worst things about myself and was accepted by the woman I love. Nothing short of a miracle could make me any happier. “Brendan” I was jolted out of my trance by Opal’s scream. “What is it?” I hurried to the kitchen where she was and saw her crying. “Opal, Baby what’s wrong” I asked “Mrs. Betty called to schedule our final interview. Next week we find out if we get the kids or not.” She was trembling. “This is it, no more applications, no more chances, this is really it” She took a seat at the kitchen table. “I’m scared” She whispered, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was too.