Marry me? (BWWM ROMANCE)

Come Clean

Opal

"I have ruined everything" I sighed dramatically, spinning in my computer chair and staring at the ceiling in my office. "You have got to stop saying that" my head nurse Maria reminded me again, it has been two weeks since my drunken confession to Brendan and every day I felt the wall between us grow stronger and stronger. "I'm serious it's been two weeks of nothing but hello's, idle chit chat, and baby planning. He barely looks at me and when he does I see pain and misery in his eyes." I sighed once more. "Now you're being dramatic, it was an awkward night, but it's not bad enough to kill a friendship" she responded, through these last two weeks she has been my voice of reason and I have loved her for it. "Well, then why do I feel like I've lost my best friend?" I replied "You didn't it's just that one of you has to be adult enough to say something. No more dodging the conversation or leaving when things get awkward, it's time to grow up and talk about the elephant in the room" She said spinning my chair around to face her. "Your right, it would be easy to apologize and say that I didn't mean what I said but it would be a lie. Lord help me, this could really ruin everything." I quickly felt my resolve dissolve into fear. "Or it could bring you closer together?" she smirked, she was always rooting for the positive while I was halted by the hypothetical negatives. I pulled out my phone and texted Brendan 'WE NEED TO TALK' I hoped Maria was right and everything worked out.

Brendan

'WE NEED TO TALK', I read Opal's text and felt a cold wave of fear flow over me. Although I had decided it was time to tell Opal the truth, I was still deftly afraid of what could happen if she learned about my illness. 'Yes we do' I replied, and went back to prepping the lunch rush. "Why so gloomy boss?" Pekelo asked, he was another sous chef I hired to help Jalen out during the week, he was also a long time member of HIV support group. He was stout Polynesian, who was about 6ft tall with a fuck ton of tattoos, and a bald head. "Tonight's the night I tell the woman I love the biggest secret of my life" I gave him an empty smirk. "Oh, you ready for that" He commented helping me cut up the vegetables for today's salads. "I don't know, but that doesn't matter. I have been dragging my feet when it came to this for years. I have to come clean or risk losing her forever." I replied "Damn, I remember coming clean to my wife. It was the hardest shit I ever had to do but it was worth it. I'm telling you there is nothing better than seeing the love and understanding in your woman's eyes. Especially after telling her the something as big as that" He gave me encouragement, he had told me years ago to tell her the truth but I had always brushed him off saying that we were better this way. "Thanks man, I hope your right" I sighed finishing my prepping.

I left the kitchen and headed to the dining room so that I could look over everything before we reopened. "Hey Boss" Julia greeted, she was a cute Asian woman standing at 5'4 with long red hair and deep brown eyes. She was beautiful and curvier than most Asian women, while not being able to rival Opals form she filled out pretty well. "Hey Julia" I replied, I tried to keep my responses as professional as possible so as to not give her the wrong impression. "So I got these great seats to a Giants game this Saturday was wondering if you wanted to go?" She asked in a friendly manner, but I knew she was expecting more than just my company. "No thanks Julia, I got a lot to do this weekend" I turned her down politely as possible. "Oh okay" while her reply was casual, I could see she was hurt by my reply, which just added to my guilt. After all Julia was the last woman I was with before Opal and I became, well whatever it is that we are. "Sorry Julia" I gave her my honest apology, I had lead never intended to lead her on, in fat there was a time where I was interested in her, yet when Opal said she needed me I dropped everything and came running. Watching the forlorn girl walk away I hoped we wouldn't share the same fate.

Opal

"Opal" I heard Brendan call me from out in the living room. 'Here we go' I thought to myself whilst mentally preparing for the most awkward conversation of my life. "Hey" I walked out the room to greet him, before taking a seat on the couch. "Hey" He took a seat a little further than normal, funny how a foot of distance felt like a mile to me. "So I guess I'll start by apologizing. What I did that night was out of line and drunk or not I shouldn't have said those things to you" I decided to be the bigger person and go first. "Opal you have no reason to apologize you were telling the truth" He replied, and I ignored the lump in my throat when he admitted to avoiding relations with me "It was?, So my size is an issue" I said as calmly as my heart would allow. "What?, No. God No. Opal you are so fucking beautiful, I wish you could see that. You're an amazing curvy woman, who in my honest opinion shouldn't change a thing." His reply made my heart swell, to know that he saw me as beautiful had me feeling lighter than air. "But, you're right I have been avoiding being with you, just not for the reasons you think" He said confusing the Hell out of me. "What do you mean?" I asked.

Brendan

'Here we go' I thought to myself , gearing up to reveal my biggest secret and possibly experience my worst nightmare. "Opal, I'm HIV positive" I decided not to sugar coat or mice words, nothing good could come from it. "What?" she asked with noticeable fear in her voice "I understand if you don't want to be with me, but before you go running I need you to hear me out. I need you to know how much I love you, how you are the reason I get up every morning how you mean more to me than life itself. I know this may be a lot to deal with, and fuck you may have stopped caring once you heard me say I was infected. On the of chance that you haven't checked out yet, and you considered actually staying with me, I want to let you know that I swear you won't regret it." I laid everything out on the table, and waited for her to make a move, but out of all the things I expected tears wasn't one of them. " You been positive since you were 17?" She asked, with unshed tears; I just nodded in response "So you have been dealing with this alone for ten years." She pulled me in for a hug and shocked the hell out of me. " No my doctor recommended some support groups, it was awkward going at first but I soon loosened up and it helped. " I explained rubbing her back while she cried "That's good... I guess this explains why you didn't want to have sex on prom night." She sniffled, and I was ready to explain my biggest regret to her. "Not exactly" I started earning a confused look. "Opal, do you remember Kayla?" I asked, she nodded "Well, Kayla and I found out we were HIV positive at your blood drive and for a while we became our own support group. We made a pact to tell the people we love about our illness on prom night , she told her boyfriend and in return was called a dirty slut needless to say she was heartbroken. She came to me crying a little before we were supposed to meet up, and... Lord forgive me , I lost my nerve I was terrified at the possibility of you rejecting me. I mean Kayla would be fine, truth be told she was cheating with a bunch of college students, but for me there has never been anyone but you. So while I was panicking Kayla comforted me, one thing lead to another and before I knew it we were..." I trailed of knowing she got the gist of what I was saying. "Oh" while her tone was calm her eyes screamed heartache "I'm sorry, Opal I should have manned up" I knew it was a long time ago, but it felt like all to recently I betrayed the love of my life. "Hey, it was high school, who cares" She squeezed my hand and I squeezed back.

Opal

I wish I could say his confession didn't hurt and that it was all water under the bridge, but my heart was breaking. I know there is no way Brendan could have known, but that night was the night I was going to give him my virginity, I contemplated telling him that but didn't want to pour salt in an open wound. "So where do we go from here?" He asked while the question seemed innocent enough it carried a lot of weight. I had reached the big fork in the road and couldn't turn back, I could continue to deny how I felt and stay friends, or I could take what I had wanted for years and be with the man that I love. "Brendan I love you. I have loved you since I saw you on the playground and it has grown everyday since. I work at a free clinic in New York, I see people like you everyday. I see people who let their illness consume them to the point where everyone is at arms length, and I want you to know that you don't have to do that with me. Infected or not you are still the man love....but, do you mind me asking how you got it?" I asked, ready for him to shut down but hoping he would open up. "My Junkie mother gave it to me, the only thing she ever gave to me " He gave an empty chuckle.

Brendan

I looked into Opal's eyes and felt tears flood mine. I finally understood what Pekelo was saying, there is no greater feeling than seeing love in your woman's eyes, especially when you spent all day in fear of her running. "I don't deserve you" I said pulling her into my lap for a deep kiss. She tasted better than I imagined, she was as sweet honeysuckle with a dash of cinnamon. "God you taste good" I attacked her mouth again but was interrupted by her phone. "Hold on, it might be the adoption agency" she said in a breathless voice, I began kissing her neck while she answered the phone. "Baby, wait" she nudged me off while conversing with whoever was on the phone, I wish I could say I paid attention but all the blood was rushing to my cock. "Okay" she replied to whoever was on the other end before hanging up. "What's wrong" I was pulled out my trance by her baffled expression. "That was the adoption agency, they said that the twins father wants to speak with us." She explained. "Is that odd?" I asked "Yeah, he said there was something in our background check that concerned him" I felt my blood run cold, "Relax, they won't deny us because of a disease and if they tried I would get a lawyer on their ass pronto." She smiled, trying to calm my fear, I wish I had the strength to tell her that my disease wasn't what scared me.