Fanboys' Guide to the Goddess' Heart

Baekhyun Is A Spy!

"Argh! Why are we assigned to get groceries, again? Why not Kris-ge? At least with Kris-ge, there's a spaceship to deliver the goods to 'Satansoo'! Or Xiumin hyung! He can use his strength to muscle his way back to SM!"

Baekhyun is EXO-K's resident martial artist. At a young age, he was taught the value of respect, courage, focus, excellence, and discipline. Because of the intensive training, he was one of the few members of EXO who can shoulder the burden of a talkative Tao for a long time. Suho, Kris, Lay, and Luhan could last as well—if there's an incentive. But they're too much preoccupied with sulking/playing darts with collaged faces of Dara noona's fanboys.

Baekhyun eyed the bouncing Tao beside him.

Out of all the members of EXO, only Baekhyun, and to their surprise, Chanyeol, were the least affected by their hyungs' actions. Kyungsoo reported that they were going to a photo shoot, at half past six. They accepted the reason, eating their breakfast peacefully. It was a quiet morning—the hyung line was not present and both leaders were gone. Normally, there'd be a mini coup d'état between Kai and Tao with the winner being the new leader of EXO but they were quiet, like they were anticipating the start of the end of the world.

As soon as he stepped into their chaotic group, Baekhyun learned to believe his instincts the humiliating way.

Chanyeol finished his drink first and turned the TV on.

And spat his drink on Baekhyun.

Breathe—that's it. Do not kill the yoda before noon, chanted the irritated Baekhyun.

With disbelieving eyes, they watched the other half of EXO walk on the red carpet, smiling at the cameras flashing. It was a book-signing event by the famous Ku Hye-sun and there were a lot of celebrities present. And that included their sunbaenim Donghae, Dara noona, and the soon-to-be-dead EXO members.

Kai and Sehun were furious with their hyungs. They knew that those six idiots went to the event because their Dara noona was there and they were selfish enough not to tell the whole group about it. Luhan's sudden change of attitude now made sense to the maknae of EXO—he got passes for a very closed A-lister event. Tao, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo stayed silent in their seats, breakfast forgotten and mind working overtime for great torture ideas for the hyungs.

The after party was not aired so the remaining EXO members were left in suspense. After three hours the front door opened and in came six guys with displeased expressions. Kyungsoo saw the tiredness in their bodies but Chanyeol saw through them and knew there was more than exhaustion in their bodies.

"What happened in the after party, Suho hyung?"

Suho knew that the Inquisitorial squad formed by three nosy maknaes and three persistent fanboys would not stop until they got the juiciest details. He was tired and not in the mood to talk more than he needed to. Suho sat on the "seat of doom" and started his story.

Safe to say, EXO's dorm room was dubbed "Danger Zone! Falling debris of Super Junior, BigBang, and SHINee deluxe edition CDs!"

Baekhyun was as miserable as the rest of his members but he didn't let that affect their stomachs. The cabinets were empty of food and Kyungsoo, much to his displeasure, was called to re-do some photo shoot so that left him as the only sane person in the dorm capable of getting some food and babysitting the most temperamental maknae out of the bunch without getting sidetracked by thoughts that included but was not limited to "Dara noona does not love me anymore!" and "Stupid BigBang sunbaenims!"

"Yah, Tao! Stop racing with the kid! Or you'll bump—"

Toing.

"—On the steel post."