Fanboys' Guide to the Goddess' Heart

Kris! Happy Birthday!

"Kris hyung! I think Suho hyung is in a coma!"

Kris had to give the stressed leader some credit—he really did last longer than he expected. Unfortunately for Suho, the mayhem caused by his members were adding up to his growing migraine and, to the wariness of EXO's make-up artist noonas, his aging lines.

There was only so much he could take when faced with a Tao on his sixth crying episode because Kai drank his last bubble tea, a Kai on a sugar rush due to said bubble tea, a Sehun hellbent on revenge because his favorite Dara poster was soaked with an unidentifiable liquid that smells suspiciously like Chanyeol's unwashed socks, a Chen cackling away from a vengeful Sehun with his Nerf water gun, a Chanyeol frantically throwing all his clothes in search for the best outfit, and a Kyungsoo on the verge of breaking down and crying with Tao on a corner because the food he made for himself was ruined by Chen.

And that was just the start of the hour.

When they are in a serious fanboy mode, the normally sensible ones in EXO were more hysterical than the normally hysterical ones.

That did not bode well for anyone's sanity.

He glared at the locked room, cursing the three smart cowards that barricaded themselves from the chaos in the living room. He'd find a way to break the door later. He had to wake Suho up because he won't be in-charge of everyone, thank you very much!

Lay locked his and Kris' room and dragged his desk chair and Kris' luggage towards the door as safety precaution. He witnessed Kyungsoo punch through a wall once. A door should be easy enough to destroy for his scary alter ego. Kris' luggage, which weighs more than all of them combined, should be sufficient enough to stop even evil Kyungsoo on a warpath.

Baekhyun and Xiumin were seated casually on his bed, as if they were oblivious to the mad people on the other side of the door. The two were dressed up in a suave polo shirt, denim-washed jeans, and sneakers. The two members were the first to escape the commotion and were smart enough to lock the door farthest from the living room, where most of the members were cooking up ways to "make friends" with the guys they found out to be their noona's fanboys.

Baekhyun's plan was risky but ingenious. There were loopholes and what-ifs in the plan, but it somehow managed to stay afloat. SM Sajangnim would never allow YG artists to enter SM premises without letting YG Sajangnim aware—too many controversies would come out of that and both CEOs would rather avoid the tabloids as long as they can.

They would've invited Dara noona to come to Kris' birthday bash but they were in a hot seat with their manager as of the moment.

Their manager was getting suspicious with the growing activity in their dorm. They were awake at the crack of dawn, which is impossibility at its finest. They were getting into more exercise and strength training, to their fitness trainers' sadistic glee. Maintenance people sent reports of broken windows and horrifying, keening wails that sounded suspiciously of "Die, fanboys! Die!" coming from a certain apartment in the dead of the night. Financial reports of expenditures were mysteriously pointing towards gift shops, toy stores, and YG merchandise. Manager-nim was a rarely a suspicious person, but the invoices from Tao's Sandara Park-merchandise escapade were too obvious, even for their passive manager.

It wouldn't take long for him to discover their budding friendship with the 2ne1 member.

And that would be a terrible idea because SM Sajangnim's rule in making friends with idols from other companies was to let him know first. Even before your members.

Meeting Seungri sunbaenim was both a blessing and a curse—a blessing because he cleared the way for the birthday bash and a curse because he unintentionally created even more traps for the wolves further down the road.