Ezria: Alternate Universe

Female Robbery

{ TRIGGER WARNING. }

I think I've found hell, 

I think I've found something... 

- Female Robbery, The Neighbourhood.

Aria

The terrified look on his face confirmed it all. The reign checks, the whole nine yards. It had officially been two weeks now since the gut wrenching truth smacked me in the face. The worst part of it all was he didn't tell me to my face. I had to find out from a piece of paper that held my future with just a few scribbles. I had sobbed countless times, screamed countless times, and asked why so many times that even I, myself got annoyed by the nagging voice in my head.

"I've lied about a lot of things but never my feelings for you."

I knew Ella was worried. She knew I wasn't eating, nor sleeping because every time I closed my eyes I saw him and how I was blinded by love, and it made me sick to my stomach. 

Was it because he was walking perfection and made every male within a 10-foot radius fall to their knees while I was just..quirky Aria? More sobs fell from my lips.

Such a helpless, worthless, poor, little girl.

I was curled into a ball, my left cheek on the cold, hardwood floor and my peripheral vision only in line with my yellow wallpaper. Nobody was home. It was the perfect time.

What did I have to live for?

Nothing.

Who would miss me?

Nobody.

The girls were probably laughing at my stupidity, and Spencer only warned me because I accused her of being a pill popping drug addict. Everyone hated me. It was simile true. No matter how many times the called me and came over, I would always lock the door, and seal my emotions in my room and cover up my wails with a pillow over my head, occasionally applying pressure to see if i could still feel.

I got up emotionless, Nobody would hear my lifeless body drop to the floor from an overdose, but I refuse to dance around the problem. I deserve all of the pain for being so foolish. I brought it upon myself.

Stupid, stupid, stupid girl.

I made my way to the bathroom. It was a cool, December afternoon. Rain had been on and off for that past seventy-two hours. I clicked the medicine cabinet open, in search of a razor. Bottom shelf. I shut the door, forgetting to lock it. I cracked the white bearings of the razor and held the sharp object in my small hands. It mocked me. Wasting no time, I held it to my wrist.

"For you." I whispered as I swished it across my shaking wrist, the beating pain being lifted off of my shoulders felt amazing, the rush of adrenaline. I made another and another, practically sawing at my wrist until I couldn't feel it anymore. Through my wails and high pitched screams I barely even heard the door open and footsteps stomping up the steps as fast as possible.

Swish.

I came face to face with my biggest fear. His eyes were as blue as they'd ever been just as his hair had been disheveled due to his hands running through it when he was nervous. He only looked at the blood gushing from my wrist. I didn't dare look up at him, I stayed focused on my wrist, the cut wasn't very deep, but a few more swipes would do the job. I could see tears welling up in his eyes as he just stared and I sat on the toilet lid, struggling to stop my tears before I went back to work.

Swish.

It was back, the euphoria with every cut grew more and more addictive. I saw his arm reaching out to my hand that held the razor, I jumped to my feet, wrestling him to keep it away.

"Why would you do this to yourself?" He kept muttering. He knew as well as I did why. Nobody really loved me. I'm worthless. He pinned me to the floor, but I was relentless. I flopped around until I had finally gotten free, except for the minor detail that he had the razor in his hand. He held it in the air, knowing it was far out of my reach. I couldn't let myself cry in front of him, show my weakness, but I knew I was too late. The salty tears had already made its way out of my tear ducts and onto my pale face. I collapsed to the ground. Running my hands through my hair, trying to catch my breath but I couldn't. The blood was getting on my sweats and the T-shirt that had once been tucked neatly in Ezra's drawer two weeks prior to me smashing a lamp due to my utter frustration. He dropped the razor on the ground and wrapped me up, into his arms. Rebounds and all, he always knew how to calm me down. He slid against the wall and I sat in between his legs. The first aid kit in his hands. I was silent. I knew I had lost. He held out my arm and set it on my thigh, getting out the gauze after it was cleaned. I saw the razor, stained red with my blood. The blue plastic all over the floor. The scratches on the floor from the wrestling match that had just taken place. The blood drops not far away.

"Why would you do this to yourself, Aria?" He said softly. The care yet stiffness in his voice made me want to hide in my own shell. If he didn't care or love me why was he here?

"Why would you lie to me?" I whispered. I hadn't actually spoke to anyone in so long. My voice was hoarse from all the screaming and crying i had done. I felt his body tense behind me as he wrapped my arm in gauze. He was quiet. He soon finished wrapping up my wrist and I crawled to the wall across from him curling my knees into me, looking anywhere but his eyes.

"Did you love her more than me?" I knew the answer. I stayed calm, preparing myself for the true heartbreak.

"No." He said just as quiet as me. "I can't apologize enough for what I did to you. I know everything is my fault. You're the innocent one, Aria." I almost scoffed at the statement.  

But he was back to the Ezra I knew, sweet, calm and collected. And I wanted so very badly to believe that this was the true version.

"I love you." Blind sided. I wish I hadn't said it, but before I could utter another word I found myself crawling back to him, crying silently to myself and I gave him a soft peck on the lips. He didn't respond, but instead pushed me away and lifted himself up to his feet.

"Do you not love me anymore?" He looked away with a painful expression.

"I don't deserve to love you ever again." He kissed my forehead, then grabbed my arm and softly kissed my bandaged wrist before turning back to the staircase. I closed my eyes.

"Take care of yourself. And your wrist." I nodded my head, like I was okay. It seemed like I had done a lot of that lately. I watched him quickly run down the stairs and slam the door leaving me to my own devices. I slowly walked down the same steps and sat at the end of the staircase, looking at the last kiss I had ever gotten from Ezra Fitz.

Before I knew it, I was back to my old self. I screamed as loud as possible wailing with my tears running into one another. Sobbing, shaking, breaking...already broken.  

I would never see him again.

Simply never.

But I swore that on that cold, December afternoon in Rosewood, Pennsylvania, I heard his quiet, soft, helpless sob on the other side of my front door.

A/N: oooh! Thank the genius mind of Marissa (EZRIALIARS) WE WROTE THIS TOGETHER. she edited it. She's truly fabulous so follow her!

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