Adore: A Special Event (BOOK 4 VOL. 1) || PRN

7

May 5, 1997
Chanhassen, Minnesota

Nauseous.

I am nauseous and in constant agony. Guilt is a parasite resting in my intestines and today, this morning actually, I threw up for the first time. Anxiety accompanies this bodily plague and creates a second reason for me to feel sick when I wake up. How can I be scared of the most exciting days of my life? The day after tomorrow is supposed to be the second happiest day of our lives but it seems to be getting scarier by the hour.

Let it sink in... As of May 6, 1997, I will be a married woman. I will be a pregnant, married woman. I will be a pregnant, married woman, who's married to her best friend. And thar's not just any best friend, but the best friend who has dragged her to hell and back. The same best friend who witnessed her go through her first miscarriage, her father's infidelity, binge drinking, and an identity crisis... Not that he's got a clean slate of his own. I guess someone can say my sister and her delusions jinxed me because this isn't how the cookie was supposed to crumble.

"Happy Cinco De Mayo," I gleefully holler, a cob of eloté in my hand. The craving kicked in some time closer to noon, earlier this afternoon, and I knew it wouldn't go anywhere without me feeding that agonizing primal beast inside of me.

Chip's head teeter-totters from left to right. "Nuh uhn," he whistles as he takes the stick from my hand, strutting away to the kitchen.

I follow behind him, hot on his trail, begging for my half-eaten snack back. "Why are you always taking my food?" I whine as if it isn't exactly what I asked him to do. I was terrified of waking up bloated on my wedding day but now that I know there's a chance it'll happen anyway, I'm not starving myself anymore. "Can I have my food back?"

I watch him hand the stick to Ike, whispering what I sense to be a dialect called Some Bullshit. As I'm spacing out, waiting for him to turn back to me because I'm too tired to fight for it, I feel him grab me by my hand to drag me away.

"You just couldn't wait, huh?" His disappointed head shakes with a shining tint of entertainment in his eyes. "Don't ask me to make sure you're doing something you gave your word to if you're gonna backslide every time you see something good on the table."

I swing our conjoined hands from side to side. "Baby, it's Cinco De Mayo. Mexico got its freedom today. I should be able to celebrate for my brown brothers and sisters by being a patron to their businesses!"

"That's a load of bullshit," he laughs, dropping my hands to walk away. He's supposed to be signing his half of our prenuptial agreement, but he clearly rather monitor my eating habits.

"You would be keen on the subject, wouldn't you?" I laugh out, catching up to his stride as he shoots me a cold eyebrow arch over his shoulder. "You sign the papers yet or not?"

"Why?"

"Because you still haven't finished your half and we sign the marriage certificate tomorrow... Unless you just want tomorrow afternoon to be a party for the hell of it," I giggle, folding my arms across my chest as I sass him.

He takes a seat on the couch, motioning for me to join him from where he sits. "I'll get to it in a second." His arms welcome me as I flop on the couch next to him. "Can I tell you somethin'?" His nose pokes against my jawline once before he pulls back.

"Huh?"

Looking at me, a wave of sincerity washes over his face. "I'm terrified," he admits. "I'm more excited than I am terrified but I'm terrified."

"Me too," I say, gripping his hand. "But I know we're doing the right thing because nothing I'm scared of has to do with being married. Everything I'm scared of comes after."