Adore: A Special Event (BOOK 4 VOL. 1) || PRN

6

April 29, 1997
Tempe, Arizona

Fresh off of the stage, he jumped right into the car and went straight into trying to convince me to stay longer. Too comfortable with my presence and a stubborn taurus, he's not loosening his grip as easily as I thought.

"It'll be fine." I try to sound as easygoing as I can in my push off as I twist my body to face him. "Then, I'll meet you in Chanhassen 'til we go back for the rehearsal and it'll all be fine!"

His displeased grimace doesn't fall short on me. I'm proud of the progress I've made regardless. He wouldn't even look at me for the first ten seconds after telling him I have to go.

He picks up his water and asks, "How come you don't just reschedule the appointment?"

"It's the last chance I'll have before we leave the country for a week. I'd like to know what's going on with my vagina before I run off to have sex for seven days, wouldn't you?"

An eye roll resembling a bratty teen is all that I am met with. Sighing, I turn away from him in the exact moment he chooses to look out his window. My fight to eliminate codependency sees some occasional pushback, always brought to me by the man who struggles to accept rejection.

Meanwhile, I'm jetting back to Chicago to get squeezed into an appointment with Judy. Alexis' gynecologist office granted me a visit though they ran tests on me, faxed them to Judy's office, and told me to talk to her about my results when Alexis' doctor told me that I am pregnant but, based on my file, he felt more comfortable having Judy further go through it with me. He felt so strongly that he called her from the office phone. All that's done is flip my wig. I'm more messed up about it than I already was. What the fuck does that one mean?

Holding on to my commitment of having full proof before I tell my fiancé is doing me in... It's doing me in something real bad. Now, I'm sneaking around and diverting from the truth to keep us afloat.

His silent treatment doesn't cease until he breaks at the sight of me silently prepping for my shower.

"I'm not tryna give you a hard time," he eventually says from the bed. His bent left leg drapes off of the edge of the bed with a bounce, the weight of his boots anchoring him down. "I don't wanna force you to be here if you don't wanna be..."

I fold my towel and set it on top of the counter, smoothly cutting the corner, and return to the suite's bedroom. A sad, pouting puppy watches me with eyes full of wants and needs. Fairly quickly do I recognize the resurgence of the kind of moment to be experienced. We haven't had one of these days in quite some time. His insecurities are heartbreaking when the venomous manipulation and sharp barb wire usually wrapped around them are removed.

Like an unbalanced seesaw, we take our turns needed to be uplifted as we continue to long journey of piecing ourselves back together. Right now, it's his turn. I have to cut off the echoing screams I've heard in my brain since San Jose and be the fiancée he needs.

My shoulder pressing into the polished wood, I lean against the doorframe of the bathroom's entrance. "You're not forcing me." I watch him unsurely play with his fingers instead of looking up. "I'm having fun, really. I have't been on the road in years but this little red corvette's about to run right into the ground." A soft smirk bracing his wavering lips tells me he wants to laugh and that, alone, breaks me.

Fully exiting the bathroom, I sit next to him on the edge of the bed. Both hands pick up his as I wait for his attention to be solely mine.

"Are you okay?"

Eyebrows twisting with a squint beneath them, his lips tighten as an insincere pout is display. "No." Scoffing, I drop his hands and throw my head back to cackle. "No, I'm not!"