Rough. (Boyxboy) [ON HOLD]

Chapter Nine

Cain could feel Austin's hand mover further up his neck with the other gently playing with the side of his jaw.

Chest pressed up against each other with Austin's lips softly brushing steadily against his own, coaxing him to move but Cain remained frozen he couldn't bring himself to do it.

The whole situation felt out of touch, strange.

Austin's deep blue eyes were hidden beneath closed lids but Cain's own were still open.

None of the overwhelming sensations filled him when he felt the blonds lip on his own, that feeling you get when you're kissed for the first time, lust and want to be there. Like noahs did.

When you can't think of anything else other than the person your kissing that you have no other option to close your eyes an lose yourself to feel and caress of it all.

But this wasn't one of those moments, it felt foreign and odd nothing like it should be.

Moving his hand to cover Austin's own, he pulled away from the others face to break off the kiss, those blue eyes still lightly red from crying earlier, slowly opened at the abrupt loss of contact. The hand in Cain's own tightened as Austin asked in a hushed tone

"Why'd you stop..?"

"Aus" huffing out a deep breath "it don't feel right.. I don't know if I can go through with this".

"wh-what, but I thought... Cay don't do this" he trembled, blue eyes once again brimming with fresh tears.

Gently stroking the others hand he tried to comfort Austin "I can't do this with you Aus, not after everything".

"But you just s-said you forgive me.. that you understood, you lo-ved me... I said I'm so, so so-rry I won't hurt you cay, ple-ase" he cried.

Cupping Austin's face in his large warm hands Cain looked straight into those deep blues, voice thick with emotion.

"I need you to understand something Austin Parker; I will always fucking love you and don't you ever question it, not ever."

"I've known you for years and I can still say that after everything I want you to be in my life".

"But fuck, I can't be with you like this aus, thinking that we could be more.. It's so cruel to do this to the both of us baby".

Using his thumb to brush away the blonds falling tears he choked out.

"I want to be what we were all those years ago, I fu-cking care so much about you but I don't trust you Aus.. and we won't get there if we carry on with this thing between us".

"But I wa- nt you cay, I can't stand not being in your life ag-ain.. Don't make me do i-t" he stifled out through sobs.

"Who the fuck said you wouldn't be in my life?" shock laced his trembling voice

"You're not listening Austin I want you in my life. You think that once this match is done it'll go back to how it was?.. Cause it won't; it fucking wont, I sure as hell am not making that mistake again".

"I'll never leave you behind again, but we can only do this as friends."

Still holding Austin's face within his hands he bought their faces closer to rest his forehead on the other mans.

"We wouldn't be good for one another aus, can't you see that? And it's not just because of what happened... We both changed and I don't want either of us to settle, you deserve someone who'll never make you feel lost or that you're not worth it, the way I fucking did"

"You didn't" he muttered"

"But I did aus, and you should never be made to feel that way by the person you want a fucking future with."

"I know, I know there is someone who will love you more than we can with each other and I can't fucking wait for you to find that person baby, your gonna be so happy, he'll make all your dreams come true, so much more than you think I can. And when it happens I'll be right there."

"It'd be selfish to think we could carry on with something like this, when where not meant to be anything more than what we are, tell me you get that aus?" he whispered.

Eyes tightly shut, Austin slowly nodded through his sobs, pushing Cain's hands off his face he moved so his head rested in between the other mans broad shoulder and neck, pushing them both further back to rest on the thick sofa cushions.

Wrapping his arms around the middle of Cain's waist bought them closer, legs bunched together so he could huddle into the other mans warm embrace.

Softly mumbling into Cain's shoulder "I lo-ve you cay, I'll be that frie-nd you can be proud of again".

Gripping Austin tighter "I've always been proud of you, and you're not just a friend.. your my aus, my family".

Lightly pulling his lips into a small smile, he quietly huffed a breathless laugh.

"family? that kissed?" Grinning the other playfully said "were our own fucked up family, it's us.. who cares", placing a soft kiss on Cain's shoulder he murmured "I like that cay".

A yawn escaped Austin throat as he lay in Cain's arms, both men exhausted from the emotional roller-coaster both shed so many tears, so many untold words spoken between.

Fuck it was hard, but staring at the man in his arms, Cain new it was worth it, he would change nothing if it meant having his friend and family back.

Soft snoring and sated body told him that Austin had fell asleep the grip on his body still tight.

Quietly moving one arm from his hold on Austin's body, he grabbed the large throw that draped his sofas; tugging it over to gently cover there tired bodies, clicking the remote switch for the apartment light bought them into a comfortable darkness, he gave one last peck on the blonde head before drifting off to sleep to dream of a certain little brunette.

# Comment and vote to tell me what you think, some of you are so passionate about Coah and I am loving it, warms my heart that your all so protective over them!... & I sure as hell don't want any of your fan girl hearts breaking over them not being together, cause they so will angels! Told you, you could trust me! x