Puppy love

Pain

Alexander looked out from the window and sighed. It was very cloudy and it looked like it might rain. He wondered if he should go outside or not... Maybe he could visit Shikamaru again? No... It might be better if he didn't. He sighed again and looked into his book. He had already read it many times before. He knew everything about it already. The book has become boring... Maybe that how Shikamaru feels. He knows everything about the world, so the world has become boring for him... Then doesn't he want to die then? Or what does he even want? Alexander has no idea how Shikamaru thinks. And that is something that annoys him. Why does he even care? Why does he care about how Shikamaru thinks? It would be just better if Shikamaru died... Yes. Then Alexander wouldn't have to think about him or meet him ever again.

Later that day, Alexander went outside. It was too boring to be inside. He didn't really like to be inside either. He loved to be outside, where nobody could lock him in. He liked to be free. But he isn't. It's like the school owns him.

-Alex?, a voice suddenly was heard. Alexander turned around and saw the person he had met once in the café.

-Ah, Nick right?, Alexander walked towards him. A smile was on Nick's face.

-Yeah, you remembered my name!

Alexander nodded but didn't smile. His mind was filled with Shikamaru.

-What brings you here?, Alexander then asked.

-Oh, I just finished my work that Shikamaru gave me.

Shikamaru again... It's like everything is about him.

-Shikamaru... I have been thinking about him a lot.

-Really?, Nick walked closer to Alexander and was still smiling.

-Yeah... Since he knows everything, he has felt all the feelings too... Then shouldn't he just... Die...?

Nick's eyes widened. That word... Die? What kind of question is that? Without thinking, he raised his fist and punched him right in the face. It made Alexander fall back to the ground. He felt on his cheek and looked up at Nick.

-Hey!

-You still don't understand! Are you an idiot?! Do you even how hard it is for Shikamaru?!

Alexander didn't say anything. He just looked at Nick. Of course he didn't understand.

-Then why doesn't he seek for help or something? He isn't the only one who has it hard in life. Everything isn't about him you know!

Nick bit his lip and punched Alexander once again hard in face.

-He can't seek help! There isn't anyone who can help him because nobody understands him! Everyone is scared of him, everyone thinks that he is dangerous and that he should just die! And Shikamaru knows! He knows that he isn't the only one suffering. He sees and feels all the others pain and suffering! He knows it more than anyone else!

-If his life is so painful... It would be easier to just die. If he thinks life is so hard.

-He isn't a coward!

Nick raised his fist to punch Alexander again but Alexander grabbed Nick's wrist before he hit him and slowly stood up. Nick continued to look at Alexander with a painful expression.

-He isn't a coward like you!, Nick yelled and Alexander felt how rage bubbled inside him.

-How can you possibly know that I am a coward?! Maybe I am sure. But I am a human after all! I make mistakes and I am still alive!

-But you are nothing compared to Shikamaru!

Alexander then punched Nick. Rain drops slowly began to fall from the sky.

-What are you?! In love with Shikamaru or something?!, Alexander yelled out and looked at Nick. Nick looked back at him with a serious face. It looked very different from when he smiles.

-I like Shikamaru a lot. He is an awesome person!

Alexander felt how his heart tightened. Why does he feel like this? Why does he feel...

Jealousy?

Alexander then just grabbed Nick's collar and punched him again. And again, and again. Nick's face was soon covered in blood. Alexander was angry. His eyes gave a look that could kill. But Nick gave the same look to Alexander. Nobody was close nearby. Everyone was probably inside since it was raining.

The rain continued to pour. But they didn't really care. They continued to punch each other until they began to bleed. Their faces was filled with bruises. When will they stop? Will they beat each other to death?

Suddenly both of them got thrown to a wall. Both of them got surprised and looked up. They saw an angry Shikamaru. His blue hair was wet and his blue eyes seemed like they were glowing. Nick's eyes widened and looked down. Alexander on the other hand looked pissed, but at the same time hurt.

-You interrupted my sleep! You know how important it is to me... Especially you Nick!, Shikamaru stared at Nick. Nick suddenly stood up and went to him.

-Shikamaru! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!

Shikamaru didn't say anything and just began to walk away while Nick followed him.

-Shikamaru! Please forgive me!, he yelled after him and continued to follow him. Alexander didn't move. He was still sitting on the cold wet ground. He felt how jealous he was once again. Why does he need to feel that? Has he really fallen in love with Shikamaru? But why? He said... Shikamaru would be better off dead... But it looks like he lied because it hurt when he said it. Alexander's hair was covering his eyes. His blue eyes which was tearing up. Tears slowly began to fall from his eyes. But nobody could see it. It began to rain even more. But Alexander didn't move. He didn't care if he would catch a cold.

-I hate him..., Alexander whispered.

-But I hate myself more... To have fallen in love once again...

Alexander dried his face but more tears came.

-Shit..., He cried and slowly began to stand up. He was on his way back to his dorm. It was dark and cold. He needs to hurry and take a shower.

That night. Alexander cried himself to sleep. He hated to cry. Because that showed that he was weak. And he hated to be weak. Because weak don't survive this cruel world, only strong people do.

Shikamaru went to bed. He got woken up and Shikamaru hated when he is interrupted. He tried to sleep but couldn't. That's why he hated it when somebody interrupts his sleep because then he can't fall back asleep and if he can't sleep, his body won't be able to rest. He sighed and turned to his side. He had already tried everything... And he can never sleep without worrying about his other personality. Sometimes he is just tired of being himself. He is tired of everything.