When The Cancer Struck

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: There's no cure for cancer, but there's a cure for not owning the Fosters. I just haven't figured it out yet.

2/12/14

*STEF*

Lena was taking a shower when I heard soft cries coming from the bathroom. I haven't had the want for sex in over 2 weeks, and when I walked in the bathroom to see if Lena was okay, it didn't change. Lena hadn't wanted me to see her boob since she found out. Turns out that hadn't changed either because when I saw her she screamed, "Go! You don't want to see this." 

"Lena, that's not even true. I've told you that I will love you for as long as I live." I told her. "Now babe, why are you crying?"

"Come here." She told me. I walked up to the shower door. "No come in." I took off my clothes and got into the shower across from Lena.

"What's wrong?" I asked pulling her in for a hug. She hasn't cried like this since she found out. She opened her hand and there was a ball of hair in her hand. I gasped and covered my mouth.

"See, you don't love me." She said.

"No, no, no." I said. "It's just a little." She pulled her hair again and more came out. "It's okay, but you need to stop doing that."

"Will you just take a shower with me?" She asked. 

"Absolutely." I said pulling her in for another hug. "Anything you want." She wrapped her arms around me and cried into my shoulder. "Shhhhh," I said. "It's going to be fine, honey."

"You haven't called me honey in 11 years. You're treating me like one of the kids." She told me.

"No I'm not, sweets." I said hoping that was a better name, I continued hugging her for the next few minutes.

"That too, you can't call me sweets, honey, sweetheart, darling." She said. "Only babe, baby, love, sexy thing. If that's even true anymore."

"Of course it's true, you sexy thing." I said kissing her lips softly before pulling her in for a hug again.

"Can-can I just like, I don't know." She said.

"What, love. What is it?" I asked putting my hands on her cheeks and looking into her eyes.

"Can I just wash your hair?" She asked.

"Yes, yes of course. Anything you want." I said. She washed my hair for the next few minutes as I tried to stay strong for her.

"What?" Lena asked. "You can't even look at me without crying?" It turns out I wasn't staying strong very well.

"No, I mean you came this close," I said holding my hand up with about 1 inch in between my fingers, "To becoming a single mom. Now, I'm gonna be that close to being one." I said. "I can't do this by myself!"

"You told me I wasn't going to die, Stef." She said. "Has that changed?"

"No, baby. You will not die. It will not happen." I said.

"I can't believe this happened to me." She cried out. 

"Come here," I said putting my arms out. "Come here, love." She walked into my arms and stopped talking. She was crying into my neck.

"I shoulda," She cried into my neck. I couldn't hear the rest for many reasons, one being the fact that I didn't know if I wanted to hear this.

Anyway, I asked, "What did you say?" 

"I shoulda said I love you before you got shot." She screamed.

"It's okay, we've talked about this. It's fine." I said. "I shoulda said I love you too."

"I shoulda done some other things too." She whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"I shoulda told you about Callie and the prenatal pills and the cancer." She continued her list of things. "I shoulda gotten your guacamole from that place for the party we had right after we got Callie and Jude."

"I shoulda told you about that talk I had with Callie after dad's funeral." I confessed.

"What was it about?" She asked.

"A lot of things. How she had snapped at you. I told her that you were only trying to help. And her mom, she has so much guilt, ya know not kissing her mom bye before she left. I've had never felt that close to that child ever. I felt like she wanted me as a mom." I said.

"She does. She wants all of us." She told me. "Then you got summoned for the court because of Mike."

"I know, it was either lie under oath and get sent to prison, or tell the truth, but then contridict my statement and get fired." I said.

"Shhh," She whispered. "Just come here." I walked towards her, but she pushed me against the wall. She began playing my boobs which was a first in a while. Then, she moved her fingers down to my scar. "I love you, Stef Adams Foster."

I felt like she was making up for not saying it before I left and this happened. "I love you too, Lena Adams Foster." I kissed her lips softly and pulled her in for one last hug.