I have double checked every pocket and it was not there, I lost it! This can't be!
"Did anyone put something in my pockets?" I ask confused
"No...why?"
I look at the picture.
"Is that your wife and daughter?"
"Yes..."
"You look confused...what happened?"
"I haven't had a good sleep...that's all."
"Can I see?"
I give him the picture. He looks at it, I can already see what's about to happen, he's going to ask me what happened to them. Fuck!
"They are beautiful, what are their names?"
"Uhm...my daughter is Sophia and my wife Ana."
"Ana?"
"Anastasia."
"She is very beautiful, Sophie too, they look very alike.
He looks intensely at the picture, he doesn't ask me anything else...he knows well what happened to them.
He gives it back and I look at it one more time. It was taken on Ana's birthday, one month after I returned form Iraq. I still remember that day like it was yesterday.
**"Daddy, daddy, look how cute this one is!" She puts her little hands trough the bars to pet the dog. "Let's keep this one!"
"No darling, you know what kind of dog mommy wants."
"I can't see any of those! So let's keep this one!"
I crouch to her and say:
"Mommy's birthday is very, very important. I'm sure she'll like this one too. But I talked to the owner and he has kept a puppy just for us for us, so we can give it to mommy."
"Ok, dad..." she says disappointed
"Alex Reynolds?" a voice calls me.
"Yes."
"You came here for a Golden Retriever? Is that right?"
"That's me!"
"Sign here please."
Says while handing me a pen and a document.
"Here we go!"
He brings the puppy and gives it to me. I look at Sophie's face.
"He's so cute!!!"
I put the puppy on the ground and she takes it in her little arms.
She is so little and innocent, she is an angel.
"Mommy will love him!"
"Yes, she will, we know how much she wants to have a dog."
I grab the puppy in my arms.
"Now let's go buy a ribbon."
"Do you want to put a ribbon on the doggy?"
"Yes, sweetheart."
"He will look so funny." Says while laughing.
"Let's go cupcake!"
She grabs me my hand and we exit the store togheter.
I look at him while he takes those smokes out that cigarette.
"Give me one of those!" I say
"Thought you don't smoke." Says while grabbing another cigarette and hands it to me. Same with the lighter.
I start smoking. I'm very troubeld by my thoughts...
"Have you ever just wanted to...give up? Just say 'The fuck with it!'. Let those fucking bastards shoot you? End your misery...?"
