Helpline

   ~ Helpline ~
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"I saw another one".
"Really? Tell me what it looked like".
"It was kind of fat, but maybe it was just really fluffy. And it was all white except this one line going across its face that was black. And it's head looked like it was too small for its body and its eyes were like this really dark black that almost made it seem like he just had an abyss in his face and he was just so soft, Beka, I wish you could've seen him!"

He chuckles, the sound sending a shiver through my body. I cuddle into the blankets more, trying to stay warm in the winter months of Russia.

"I would have loved to see it too, Yura. Next time get a picture for me alright?"
I nod, smiling. "Of course. I would've today but I was already late for class".
I can imagine him rolling his eyes. "Why were you late this time? You seem to always be late for school".
Even though he can't see me, I cast my eyes down and sigh. "I guess I forgot to set my alarm again".

It was a shitty excuse but I didn't know what else to tell him. School sucked and I didn't want to be there, so I tried everything I could to not go. But if I skipped out too much, my parents would get pissed and ground me.
Fuck them, they don't know shit.

"Yura... what's going on?" He asks, and I can imagine him closing his laptop so he can give me his full attention.
I sigh. "Nothing, I just hate school. It's pointless, I'll never use half the shit I learn anyway- and I don't even learn anything anyway". I try to tell him, making it seem convincing enough.
He sighs. "Why don't you ever tell me what's going on with you?"
"Because there's nothing going on". I insist, trying to keep things vague so I won't be necessarily lying to him.
"Bullshit". He says. "Obviously something about school is bugging you but I can't help you if you don't let me in, Yura".

I push myself into a sitting position, crossing my legs and resting my head in my free hand, pressing the phone harder against my ear as I try to control my temper. He didn't deserve to be yelled at right now.

"I have let you in, more than anyone and you know that". I tell him sternly, feeling a little hurt that he believes I don't trust him.
"Then why don't you just tell me the real reason you hate school. Are you being bullied or something?"
Or something. "It's nothing, honestly. Every teenager hates school. If something was happening, I'd tell you okay?" Lies. "I trust you". Apparently not if you can't tell him this.

Shut up! I can't tell anyone the reason why and you know it so just shut up!

Great, now I'm talking to myself.

"I know you do, babe. But I know something is wrong". Beka pushes again.
I try not to snap. "Just drop it, Beka. Nothing is wrong". My voice is harsher than I intend and I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap".
"I know; you're stressed I get it. Why don't you get some sleep alright? Call me in the morning". He tells me.
I sigh again. "I think maybe you're right. Play something for me?"
"Of course, Yura".

I lay back down, snuggling under the blankets and trying to stay as warm as possible. Maybe I should've put on pyjamas instead of just my boxers and one of his sweatshirts.

I pull the phone away and put it on speaker, placing it on my pillow beside me. I hear some rummaging and soon Beka returns.

"Alright, this is something I just finished. It's a bit slower than the rest of my stuff because I'm trying to make a playlist for when you sleep". He explains, sounding nervous.
I smile. "I'm sure it's great; just play it".