Mistful Summer (BxB)

• S2 | yan of thé sorrow | #14 •

| 7:30 am |
Yandel Pov:

My door slowly opened as the light from the living room casket through. Mike stood there looking over at me as I was resting on my back with my hands behind my head.

He approache me as he was dressed for his eight am class. "Just checking up on you" he mumbled as he looked down at me. "I'm okay" I said as he sat on my bed. "Whatever makes you feel better, but you're not" he said as I sighed, become annoyed right away.

"Right, let's get off to a great morning" he said as I noticed him smiling. "You're like my brother Yandel, we're still learning each other, but you real life have my back and I respect that. So I'm here for you bro, I want you to know that" he said as he turned towards me getting up.

He stuck his hand out, palms up as I placed my hand on top of his. We locked hands as he squeezed. "We're all we have" he mumbled before losing his grip. "I'll catch you after class" he said walking back out my room as he closed my door. "Oh yan" I heard him scream out as he walked back into my room with a box.

"This was at the door for you" he spoke as I leaned up. "Thank you" I mumbled as he walked back out my room. The sun was rising as my room became brighter. I pulled the tape off my the box opening it to a sticky note attached to my phone. (Thought you would want this back, don't worry I'm staying my distance).

My phone was dead as I reached behind me plugging it in as I got up. Turning the warm water nob letting the water heat up as I used the restroom. My phone notifications were going crazy as I closed the restroom door to eliminate the sound, as I finished washing up.

My stomach growled as I walked out the restroom. I didn't even bother to check my phone as I headed straight to the kitchen. Mike had half a sandwich left which I'm sure he wouldn't mind me eating. My phone rung as I was finishing up the small snack I prepped before I got ready for class.

My heart actually skipped a beat as josh Name appeared on my screen. "Heyy" I softly spoke sitting on my bed. "I've been trying to reach out to you, your phone was going straight to voicemail, everything better?" He asked as I sighed. Just hearing his voice eased my soul, As I laid back on my bed.

"You still there?" He asked. "Yeah I am, I'm in the process of becoming better" I said. "Do you need anything?" He asked with concern. "No I'm fine" I said as he mumbled "oh", "well I was just calling to," I interrupted him. "Truthfully" I mumbled leaning back up. "Can you just come hold me please" I mumbled as I felt myself tearing up. "Yan . . ." He mumbled.

"I know it's a lot to ask josh, but" I paused sighing. "You're right, it's okay. Thanks for calling, means the world to me" I mumbled leaning back. "Always, I'll check on you later?" He questioned. "Sure" I said before the call ended.

Burying my head into my pillow as I pulled my cover over me. Every emotion of my being came pouring out as I balled up. I couldn't do anything to escape from this misery I was feeling. Every childhood memories I had was a lie, every kiss I felt was a lie, every I love you from my parents were lies.

My original class alarm clock went off as I just canceled it. I couldn't bare to move from the position I was in. I wanted to be strong and shrug this feeling off, I just didn't know how. I heard the front door open as I just laid there. I heard mike voice talking loud as I assumed he was on the phone.

My room door opened, "mike not right now please" I mumbled pulling the covers over my head as my door closed back. I felt hands grab my cover pulling it off of my head as I rolled to my back. "Figured you were still here" josh chuckled putting the Walgreens bag down.

"I brought you some soup, I know you like the rice and chicken soup, and your favorite crackers and this" he said walking up to me with my favorite peace tea. "Thank you" I mumbled leaning up. "And I have one more thing for you" he said walking up to me.

"Come here" he softly said pulling me into his chest as I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him cuffing his shoulders. His scent sent chills down my spin, the warmth from his body eased my breathing. "Wow" he mumbled in my ear. "I've never felt you this relaxed in my arms" he mumbled rubbing my back.

"Don't let go" I mumbled as I felt his grip loosing. He gripped me tighter as I buried my head under his neck. "You're scaring me yan" he mumbled as he tried to pull away, but my grip wouldn't let up as he just held me.  "Talk to me?" He asked as I slowly let him go. He held my arms as I stood in front of him.

"I'm not sure where to start, don't even know if I can" I mumbled looking around as he looked at me weird. "Start with yourself, what's going on in here?" He said gently grabbing the back of my head. "That's the worst place to start" I said as his hand traveled down to my chest. "Start here" he said covering my heart as I grabbed his hand.

"I don't deserve your concern" I mumbled looking down. "I don't deserve for you to be standing here" I mumbled looking up at him as my eyes watered. "I've lost the best thing that god gave me" i mumbled whipping away my tears. "What was that?" He asked as I was losing complete control of my feelings.

"You Joshua" I mumbled as our eyes locked. "I lost the only real thing in my life and the only man that believed in me" I cried out falling into his chest. "I'm so sorry josh for not supporting your dreams, I'm sorry I was a bitch to you, I'm sorry I failed you" I sobbed as he walked me back into my bed, sitting me down.

He stepped back, drying his face as he walked towards my room door. "Josh" I sobbed calling for him as he held the door nob. He didn't say anything as I slowly walked up to him. "I'm sorry" I silently cried out as he turned towards me. "Baby I'm sorry" , my feelings had completely caved in.

"I need you more than anything right now, and if you walk out that door you might as well take my last breath with you, because living without you isn't an option". I cried as he stood facing the door. "Please josh" I begged as he twisted the door opening it. "Josh..." I softly called out, trying to gain control of my breathing to keep myself from crying as he walked out.

| Sound Track Chapter Inspiration |
   Ruth B - Mixed Signals