Strong Lonely Feelings

Chapter 7.

Adele POV:

They took her to the hospital. They were trying to revive though their sincere faces were already giving up.

They knew she was gone, they just wanted to show me they tried. I held her hand the whole way to the hospital and refused to not let her be alone.

"We are going to flush her out. We know she's still in there somewhere Ms. Adkins." one of the nurses told me.

I nodded not wanting to show any emotion in my face.

I needed her...I never got to say goodbye.

Tears were still sliding down my cheeks. I held her hand tighter and it was warm.

They were right, she's still in here somewhere.

They had to take her to get flushed...to get the bleach out. I didn't want to leave her side, but this time I couldn't fight for it. They had guards waiting for me, if I got out of hand like the last time.

"Fine. I'll just sit in the waiting room." The guards moved aside and I walked to the waiting room and took an empty seat.

"You okay?" An old man asked me.

I looked up and he looked in his early fifties.

"Actually, no I'm not. A friend of mine is barely living and I don't know if she's going to make it. What's up with you...why are you here?" I said wiping the tears of my face.

"Well, I lost somebody. I tried to find them, but they said to go here and search through papers and birth certificates. Her name is Adele Laurie Blue Adkins...Laurie was my idea." He looked at me with sad eyes.

I didn't know who he was or why he was looking for me, but he looked familiar.

I tried playing dumb.

"How come you haven't looked her up?" I asked him.

"I did, but it only shows this lady who sings. You know...she kind of looks like you, my daughter. She had your green eyes and the same ginger hair. You also look like that singing gal." He smirked and twiddled his thumbs like a kid.

"What happened? How come you're not with her?" I asked studying his face.

He gave me a sullen look.

"I left her...I thought I wasn't a good enough father. I thought she'd fine another dad...a better father. She was only three and it was so hard because her eyes seemed to grow dark when she saw me leave. She didn't know what it was back then, but I felt betrayal coming off of her. I'm sorry...Im talking too much." He had his head down and I could tell he was about to cry.

I know him...I just has to know his name to see if it was true.

"W-what's your name?" He kept his head down.

"Mark Adkins." He had his head in his hands.

"Who was her mother?"

"Her name was Penny Adkins."

I hadn't had any tears for this man.

"I'm that singer...the one you searched up." I said and he looked up.

"That's wonderful. I love your songs." He looked back down.

"And...I'm your daughter." It was silent between us.

"I'm the one you left Dad...Mark." he face seemed to brighten up.

I saw the doctor coming and I stood up.

"I'm sorry Laurie...I wasn't good enough...I hit your mother, I cursed, I yelled. I wasn't good...I thought you'd find a perfect father." He said trying to make me stay.

"I have a friend I have to see," I gave him my number,"Just give me a call another time, Mark."

I left towards the doctor and he didn't show any expression.

"I'm sorry Ms. Adkins, but she's gone. We tried to get her back, but her heart  stopped." He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I pulled away and looked back to my seat. My father was gone...he left.

The painful words hurt so bad that I couldn't even cry. I wanted to scream.

She's gone...

She like my bestfriend and I loved her.

I walked out of the hospital and I drove back to my house. I went inside and I didn't even say goodbye to her.

Once I locked my door, I screamed to the top of lungs until my voice cracked.

My voice was lost of course, but I didn't care. I sat down and stared at the light, not caring if I become blind too. I didn't want to feel anymore, now that she's gone.  I didn't want to see, speak, smell, touch, eat, drink, walk, drive, hear, or even sleep.

I wanted to be nothing. I want to be in her shoes and feel what she felt without feeling myself. I want to understand since now it's too late. I stayed up all night...hugging my knees close to my body.

I stayed in that position, understanding Skai...understanding her pain and her sadness...her fears and her way of being gullible...her heart and her mind and her soul. All of it was no good.

I understood her story.

Sooooooo...well thennnn...uhhhh this is okay i think...hope u understand this deep crap...love ya guys😚😚😚