"Mom...." Tumakbo ako patungo sa kanya, niyakap siya at doon na ako humagulhol ng iyak.
Hinaplos niya ang buhok ko. "What's wrong honey? Did someone hurt my baby?" She asked me. I'm so lucky to have her. She's so protective.
"Mom, I'm such a blind girl. I hate myself, I hate being myself, I hate Zen Crayel!"
Sinisisi ko lahat ang mga nangyari sa 'kin. Ang tanga tanga ko bigtime!
"Stop that young lady. You need to love yourself. Don't be such a fool. We know that you are almost perfect. I raised you with all my love and care. So don't be..." She's trying to ease my pain pero hindi talaga kaya. Ang sakit parin talaga.
All this time nagpakatanga lang pala ako? How dare me! Naging bulag ako. Bulag na bulag!
"Mom, should I call myself a stupid brat? I think I deserve it. Stupid brat fits for me. I'm such a stupid! A blind! A lady that carrying a big pain in ass!"
She faced at me.
"Dear, if you blame yourself, same as your just blaming your mother. You blamed how I raised you. Pinalaki kita dahil anak kita at mahal kita. Ibinigay ko ang lahat para maging mabuting ina para sayo. Na kahit na wala ang ama mo, nagawa ko paring palakihin ka ng maayos. Wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo, if you're blaming yourself, you are just referring to a cat who eats her own tail."
May parte sa puso ko na nahimasmasan iyon ng dahil sa sinabi ni mom. She's a good mother and I salute her for that. Hindi ko sinisisi kung papaano niya ako pinalaki, sinisisi ko ang sarili ko bilang ako. I'm such a blind. Hindi ko nakita ang mga pagkakamaling iyon. Nagpakatanga ako, hinayaan ko siya na paglaruan ako. I just hate myself.
"Mom, please do my favor." Sabi ko sa'kanya.
"Anything for my daughter. Spill it." She smiled. And I smiled too.
"You know mom, I want him right now---"
Mom glared at me.
"ZEN! Forget him, sinaktan ka niya. Hindi ka pa ba nadadala sa mga ginawa niya? Gus---"
Natawa nalang ako sa mga paratang niya.
"Mom! That's not him! I mean I want to see dad right now. I need him. I need you and him to comfort me. Please, that is all I ask for now. Please mom...."
I know that this is effective. Mom comforted me many times and I'm happy for it. And now I want also dad to comfort me. I'm longing for him. I miss him.
"If that's what you want honey then I'll do your favor. Be ready, we're going to Cebu right now."
