In New York (A Lams Fic)

Chapter 8: You Will Never Be Satisfied

TW: gay slurs

John PV:
  It was New Years Eve. I was watching the ball drop with everybody and wanted Alex to be my New Years kiss. But he was working again. Don't get me wrong, I love the way he always writes, but wanted to be with him right now. He was sitting at the desk in the dark in between the two beds, only one of which had been used since we became the night of Truth or Dare in November. I walked over to him and hugged him gently. He responded with a kiss on my cheek.
"Alex, honey, please come watch the ball drop with us."
"John, I have so much work to do."
"Please. You're constantly working. Just this once."
"I'm sorry, babe, but I need to finish this essay."
"But you're always typing." I raised my voice and he looked up at me with a concerned look on his face.
"John, I understand why you're upset but I need to work."
"If you understand, why don't you get up! It's like you'll just never be satisfied!"
"Because I'm working, John, it's not like you ever do..."
I could feel the stares from our friends. All of their eyes were on us. We had never fought before. Why was this happening?
"Fine! Not like I'd want to kiss you anymore anyway! You're such a little bitch!" I was yelling at him at this point. I was incredibly mad so I started storming out of the room.

Alex PV:
  John started a fight with me. He was telling me I should stop working so much and had basically screamed that I was a bitch. He was walking out of the room.
"FINE! JUST LEAVE THE ROOM YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!"
  No one had called him a faggot since the last time he talked to his dad. Everyone knew how much words hurt him. Not even Thomas Jefferson would call him a fag. Even he wouldn't stoop that low. We were done for all because of my stupidity. Why would I ever say that. I really am a bitch. All of our friends were staring at me, and tears were filling my eyes. They were all in complete shock and for good reason. God damnit! I'm a moron!
"God, Alex," I heard Angelica, "how could someone be so fucking stupid. You just stopped to a new low, invented a new kind of stupid!"
"Get out..." My voice was quiet and had cracked but then I said it louder, "All of you get out."
"Bad move, Alexander..." Lafayette had said as he got up.
  They all filed out. Nobody wanted to be with me after what I had said. I can see why. I closed my eyes and tears started falling from them. I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands. Why would anyone hurt their love like that. I'm so stupid!

John PV:
  Alexander called me a faggot. I thought he loved me. I loved him. But nobody had spoken to me with those words since I had last talked to my dad. I thought he was smarter than that. I started just walking to Hercules and Laf's room but the sadder I got the faster I ran. I ran past their room. I ran past the Schuyler sisters' room. I was just running. I didn't know where to go. I still loved him. I couldn't leave him just because of a few words. Right? Did I still love him? It's not like he loved me anymore, so it doesn't matter. We don't matter anymore. I slept in my car, far away from him, that night.

Time Skip To The Next Day
John PV:
Alex and I were planning on having lunch with the entire group but after the fight those plans were quickly canceled. I went out with Eliza and Peggy to King's Diner again. Alex didn't eat at all that day though. In fact, he didn't even leave the room or really even his bed. He wasn't typing though. That was the oddest part. He seemed more hurt by what he said to me than I was. We didn't talk at all. We both just sat in bed, and I think he cried.