You Were Never Mine (2nd Sequel to 'You Are Mine')

Day 39

I decided to leave the house after Yoongi failed to turn up, again. Staying in her house for any longer would make me go mad, I still don't understand the letter but that she must be dead, right? She said it herself. I have hid the letter in the inside pocket of my waistcoat, there would be no reason for Yoongi to look in there.

Waiting for the bus I realised how many times I've been on a bus these couple of days. Being on the bus without Yoongi will feel strange. Making me jump, a bus stops in front of me, I smile at the driver and get in.

Watching the blur of streets, I question whether I should sleep, what if I miss my stop? The empty seat next to me makes me miss Yoongi, never thought I would ever admit that.

The bus stops and I watch a couple go into a bar, when the door opens I see a depressed looking, black haired, scruffy looking Yoongi downing shots.

"Wait!" I shout as the bus starts to move. "I want to get off here!"

I quickly walk inside the bar and see Yoongi had moved to the back corner of the bar on a small table with two chairs, empty shot glasses surround him and a bottle of rum was nearly gone. Dodging people and chairs, I stand before him, looking down at him in disgust and pity.

"Yoongi," I clear my throat. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Your mum," Yoongi moans, his head on the table. "But I wish it was Ally..."

"Don't disrespect my mother," I pull my hands through my hair in frustration. "Is this where you've been for the past few days whilst I've been in her house looking for clues? Drinking yourself to death?"

"Does it matter?" He takes his head off the table and looks at me. His eyes are dull and he looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. "Does any of this matter? The only person I ever cared about is dead, what's the point? If I live until I die then I will be mourning, is that really living? I just want Ally. I need her. Ally."

"Stop pitying yourself," I growl, annoyed at his moaning. "It isn't going to bring her back."

"Ally, I love you." Yoongi ignores what I said and talks to himself. "Please come back. I miss you. I miss waking up to your face in the morning, and not never wanting to never wake up because I won't wake up to you ever again. I miss seeing your smile making me feel the most loved and happiest man in the world, now I just feel dead and tired. I miss you making everyone feel special and appreciated, not people looking at me with pity. I miss you so fucking much. You aren't gone, you can't be. God isn't fucking real! If he was he would never take you away from me, make me feel how I am! I finally find my soulmate and then I lose her. She was amazing. I feel awful, why can't she just hold me? Just for a minute and tell me everything's going to be okay. Why did Ally die, Jin?"

"Because of me," I whisper.

"What?"

"She died because of me," I say louder, feeling a wave of relief of telling him. "I wasn't looking where I was going and the next minute there was a car and Ally and-"

"Are you telling me," Yoongi clenches his fists and I back away. "After you kissed my girlfriend and my last words to her was that I hated her it was you that killed her."

"Not exactly-"

"It's exactly like that," Yoongi stands up, his eyebrows furrowed. "If you hadn't thought you 'loved' her, if you hadn't gone behind my back and kissed her and if you had looked across the fucking road before you crossed it she'd be alive!"

"Gentlemen," a waiter interrupts us. "Please, you're disturbing other customers."

"I'm leaving, anyway." Yoongi puts his jacket on. "Jin, you're paying for it."

Before I can say anything, he left.