The Last Adventure of Dr. Yngve Hogalum

Chapter 16 ~ Magnetron Held Harmless

"[Hawkshaw] heaved Coburn's revolver back into firing position and pulled on the trigger. It wouldn't budge. 'You'll have to squeeze a bit harder, mate,' snorted Coburn."

Coburn laughed derisively at Hawkshaw, goading him pitilessly.  "I'll wager fifty dollars you can't hit that balloon from here," he said.  The constable's fragile virility thus impugned, he disengaged his squinty scrutiny from the Caelestis and directed it at Coburn in a thoroughly ineffective attempt at intimidation.

"Do not mock me, sir!" he menaced.  Coburn replied with matter-of-fact nonchalance.  "I'm not mocking you, mate, I am mocking your thoroughly inadequate weapon.  I find it scandalous that an officer of the law such as yourself should be so modestly equipped."

Evidently, Hawkshaw perceived Coburn's stratagem and began aiming at the Caelestis once again.  "It gets the job done," he growled.  Coburn continued.  "Look, mate, if you manage to defy gravity and actually hit your target with that pea shooter, the pea will simply bounce from the balloon and fall harmlessly to Earth."

"We shall see," said Hawkshaw through clenched teeth.  "Here, constable," continued Coburn, "I insist you use my revolver."  He unholstered an enormous Belgian-made twenty-chamber revolver from an elaborately tooled leather holster and held it by the barrel, waving the grip in Hawkshaw's line of sight.  The constable found himself quite unable to resist.  "May I?" he asked with childlike incredulity.  Coburn nodded, and they exchanged weapons.  Hawkshaw's arms wavered and bobbed under the burden of the fully loaded revolver.  "Make that a hundred dollars," said Coburn.

The Caelestis was hastening her ascent as the wind accelerated her departure.  I ran along, barking out commands to Dr. Hogalum, although I have no idea whether he could hear me.  Pung had escaped Mrs. Mackenzie's grasp and joined the chase, exhorting the doctor to "fly away!"  The Caelestis brushed aside a few pliable top branches as she barely cleared the last maple tree in her path.

The constable had his own problems as he was still surrounded by the four Hogalum Society members, each of them offering their own peculiar brand of assistance.

"Mind your trajectory, constable," admonished Cerebelli before beginning a lengthy explanation of momentum and gravity.  "Yes, yes, a little higher..."

"Perhaps it is not your weapon which is wavering," advised Valkusian in a soothing voice.  "Perhaps it is your target which is moving, eh?  Or perhaps both?  Or perhaps your mind is playing tricks on you."

Hawkshaw lowered his weapon as his confusion gave way to a heated outburst.  "Be quiet! All of you! Do you think I don't see what you are doing?  Do you think I am some kind of fool?"  He heaved Coburn's revolver back into firing position and pulled on the trigger.  It wouldn't budge.  "You'll have to squeeze a bit harder, mate," snorted Coburn.

Satyros began to apologize profusely.  "Terribly sorry!  We are only trying to help, you see?"  Satyros adopted an air of conspiratorial disclosure, whispering apologetically.  "We're all ardent devotees of law enforcement and we often find ourselves unable to contain our enthusiasm in the midst of dedicated practitioners such as yourself."

Hawkshaw wedged as many fingers as would fit inside the trigger guard and was beginning to make some headway.

"Please accept this token of our esteem," said Satyros, gesturing at an empty point in space directly in front of Hawkshaw.

The next three occurrences transpired more or less simultaneously…