The Last Adventure of Dr. Yngve Hogalum

Chapter 18 ~ Magnetron Runs the Gauntlet

"Anton Karswell Valkusian was many things, but he was rarely sarcastic. And yet, there was something about his inflection on the word 'skiing.'"

I was silent for a very long time as the Hogalum Society members interrogated me at length, attempting to apprehend the nature of my perverse transgressions.  "Why have you undertaken such a berserk and yet clearly premeditated deed?" asked Cerebelli.  "Why have you defied us?" asked Valkusian.  "Where do you keep your scotch?" asked Coburn.

I kept mute for as long as I could endure.  I could think of nothing that would extricate me.

Satyros sprawled with double-jointed fluidity over his favorite overstuffed chair.  He engaged in an annoying exercise with a coin, causing the silver disk to tumble end over end, somersaulting over each finger of his hand in turn, and then—when it seemed it would fall to the floor—he reversed the process, walking the damnable thing in the other direction across his outstretched digits.

I could bear it no longer.  "It worked!" I exclaimed suddenly.  "Is that not justification enough?  You all thought I was mad, but Dr. Hogalum believed in me.  We worked as a team, we did.  And now he has realized his greatest dream, to visit distant worlds!  No, gentlemen.  I apologize for deceiving you, but I will not apologize for what I have done!"

Valkusian regarded me coldly, a sneer playing about his face.  "Yes, of course," he said.  "No doubt Dr. Hogalum is now skiing in the Leibnitz Range and quaffing lunar toddies.  Indeed, you have outdone yourself, Phineas."

Anton Karswell Valkusian was many things, but he was rarely sarcastic.  And yet, there was something about his inflection on the word "skiing."

"You do not believe me?" I probed.  The men spoke hideous volumes by remaining absolutely silent.  "You do not believe me!  Did you not see him waving his tail in farewell?"

"Magnetron—" began Satyros.

"My God!  You think I have decapitated the corpse of our beloved Dr. Hogalum and merely disposed of his lifeless head as so much evidence!  You think—" I shuddered to my very core, unable to continue.  "Leave me!"

"Magnetron, we believe you," offered Satyros, his eyes darting back and forth at the other Hogalums.  "Isn't that right, gentlemen?  Yes, yes, of course we do.  Now, I believe what Phineas needs is a hot bath and a good night's—"

"Leave me!" I demanded once again, but they moved not a muscle.  I removed myself from the drawing room rather hastily, whereupon I collided with Mrs. Mackenzie in the hallway.  "Mrs. Mackenzie!  They do not believe me!  They think me a crackpot and a criminal, puttering with the head of a corpse!  They—"

"I know," she consoled, "I know."  She had been eavesdropping again.

At that moment I heard a familiar ticking sound emanating from within my laboratory down the corridor.  The wireless telegraph!  Ha-hah!  Dr. Hogalum would have his say at last!