The Last Adventure of Dr. Yngve Hogalum

Chapter 11 ~ Magnetron's Curse

"When Dr. Hogalum had asked my name, the only word I could speak was 'magnetron,' a word I had heard in my afflicted dreams…"

Dr. Hogalum was uncharacteristically speechless, his jaw repeatedly dropping open and snapping shut.  For the first time I could remember, I had impressed him.  "Magnificent, isn't she?" I said, beaming with pride.  He agreed emphatically and asked if the Caelestis was the product of my unusual gift.  I shook my head, reminding the doctor that I considered it a curse, not a gift.

Let me explain: In the course of one of the final battles of Chancellorsville, I received a bullet wound that pierced my brain and rendered me comatose for weeks.  I should certainly have died from my injury, as I was left behind when General Hooker was forced to retreat under the acute duress of General Lee's assault.  As my comrades were repulsed to stronger defensive positions, I exhausted my last moments of consciousness dragging myself toward a nearby woody thicket.

I awoke weeks later in a clean bed under the care of Dr. Hogalum, who had found me whilst searching for an errant golf ball and transported me to his home in a secluded area southeast of Charlottesville.  I had a profound case of amnesia, and was also unable to speak intelligibly.  When Dr. Hogalum asked my name, the only word I could speak was "magnetron," a word I had heard in my afflicted dreams, a word whose precise meaning remains a mystery to me.  It was many months later until I was reunited with my mother and came to know my true surname, Mugglesworth.

As alluded to earlier, I arise nearly every morning intoxicated by visions of astonishing inventions from the future: telescope boxes that permit a viewer to observe events from every corner of the world; self-propelled carriages that permit the driver to go anywhere on land at speeds exceeding that of the fastest locomotive; tiny devices that permit the user to listen to perfectly faithful recordings of symphonies at the mere touch of a button.

For many years I have kept a tablet of writing paper at my bedside, so that I might record the workings of these inventions, but within a few moments I find myself gazing uncomprehending at meaningless scribbles.  I have been inspired by many of my sketches, and I have managed to support my household and unusual pursuits from the sale of my Vegetable-Musket, a device which eases the burden of many thousands of women by facilitating the slicing and dicing of fresh produce.  On balance, though, my "gift" has been a source of profound frustration more so than inspiration.

Dr. Hogalum could remain silent only so long, and he soon began a series of probing questions appertaining to the Caelestis, which dazzled before us.  I explained that I had developed an entirely new science which would permit him to pilot the craft with his mind.  Merely by thinking a thing, it would be made to happen, whether it be altering speed or course or any such navigational task.

He was understandably thunderstruck, but regained his self-possession through the application of his remarkable intellect and acerbic tongue.  Indeed, these were the sole tools at his disposal, as even when I complied with his repeated demands for a pen, he could but stare down at it and curse in a most bombastic fashion.

We were engrossed in a difficult experiment with the Cerebral Harness when Mrs. Mackenzie rapped on the laboratory door.  I replaced Dr. Hogalum's top hat and opened the door but she refused to enter, retreating a full ten feet from the doorway, so fearful was she of Dr. Hogalum's partial presence.  She remained at this distance and timidly announced a visitor: Constable Hawkshaw had come round to question me about a criminal act recently perpetrated—in Virginia!