*Willow's POV*
*flashback*
Glancing around Lou's living room, I admired her boho style and smiled at her many pictures of her little girl. Harry had settled comfortably into the love seat beside me and began chatting with his old friend.
Although she wasn't a minister, Lou still required at least three sessions of premarital counseling before she would perform a ceremony. Today is the first session and I can't help but feel like the odd man out, it almost doesn't seem right for our counselor to be a lifelong friend of Harry's.
"Anyway," Lou giggled at something Harry had said, that I had clearly missed while absorbed in my thoughts, "Shall we?" She smiled, opening a leather journal and putting on a more serious face. "We won't dive into anything too...difficult today but I would like to get to know the two of you, as a couple."
I felt Harry's eyes on me, trying to read my expression as Lou skimmed over her notes.
"We'll start with you, Harold," She decided, looking up, "What was the first thing to catch your eye about Willow?"
Smirking, I glanced up at him and recalled the day we met. Clearly, he had the same thought as he fought back a laugh. "her eyes."
"Bullshit," I muttered, rolling my eyes.
Shaking her head, Lou refused to laugh, "Harry, I need you to be serious with me, answer honestly and let Willow hear it."
I felt him shift into a more serious version of himself and nod in agreement as Lou continued. "When would you say a relationship truly began to form, on your end anyway?"
Taking a few seconds, Harry considered it, "My feelings began to develop shortly after meeting Willow but the first time that I actually found myself beginning to...consider her more than a pretty face around the office...was a night, not terribly long after she began working for me, I was stressed and angry and overwhelmed and just needed to get away but solitude just seemed to make it worse, I needed company but no one in my circle...none of my business partners or colleagues or family friends...they were what I needed a break from and in a desperate search for company, I found myself at Willow's door, already drunk and acting like a mad man but she let me in and we spent that night drinking and talking about life and that's when I began to feel my heart pull towards her."
"You pull to her for comfort...she centers you?" Lou asked, as entrapped in Harry's words as I was.
"Always has." He murmured, reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
Clearing her throat, she glanced back down at her notes and continued, "What would you say is one thing you had to learn to accept about Willow, in order to consider her being your life partner?"
"Her heart," He answered, without hesitation,"I've never been loved, the way that she loves me and it took me quite some time to learn to accept the love that she had to give. She forgives me when I can't forgive myself and sees beyond what I am today, looking at the man that I have the potential to become. She holds me accountable for my actions but doesn't hold resentment in her heart, if she says she is over something then that means she's over it and all is forgiven and up until now I've not dealt with that kind of honesty, it took some getting use to and I'm learning how to give trust and be worthy of trust ...I wasn't looking for anything life-altering when we began seeing one another, so it's a rather foreign concept for me to be actively growing as a person as my relationship grows."
Stunned by his open honesty, I sat frozen in place, yearning to hear more.
"In your opinion, has this relationship changed you?"
"Yes, and No," Harry said thoughtfully, "Yes because I have changed and no because it wasn't something that just happened out of the relationship, it was a change that I recognized had to happen and took a conscious effort."
"What was the change that you felt had to happen? and why?" Lou asked.
" I had to become a man," He answered, matter-of-factly, "Because that's what she deserves and I realized that if I wanted to keep her, long term I would have to grow into that man. She deserves an open-minded and thoughtful person...a calm and collected grown up, not a short-tempered youth that marks his territory like an animal and bares his teeth at any sign of a threat...I had to recognize that she had never shown signs of anything but the most loving loyalty and deserved nothing less, in return, therefore I would have to learn to draw a line between jealous and controlling which is still a problem to this day and will continue to be a battle but I am trying," Harry's gaze shifted to me, for the first time in what felt like an eternity, "I am trying." He repeated.
"Are there any aspects of your relationship in the early months of the relationship, when you were the 'youth' you felt the need to change from, that you feel you need to apologize for? before starting this journey of your marriage?"
This time, Harry took longer to answer, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
"Everything...there are so many instances where I spoke or acted in anger and watched as my actions hurt her...so many nights that I forced myself to stay at my apartment when I knew she was at home crying over us and I allowed it, prolonged it even...I was never willing to admit that I was at fault or reacted too harshly, at the very least...I would- no," he shook his head and turned to me, "I do, I apologize for my pride and my temper and my uncaring attitude...I apologize for the times I've caused you to question your worth or my feelings toward you, my life mission is to confirm those things for you and to give you piece of mind and so many times I have done the opposite and I am sorry, I am so so sorry."
I hadn't realized I was crying until Harry reached up and wiped the warm tears away with the pad of his thumb, "I love you." was all I could muster.
