November 4th

Chapter four Trespass

"I'm watching you." My mother drawls out, her voice is laced with liquid venom, " and him ."

" I'm watching your sentences mum, their all collapsed like homeless men with tb outside a shelter," i snatch the Eiffel tower of gin from her trembling hands. " I hate you," she cries," respect me.Respect me, I'm still pretty im still young, still got some moves," she dances a jig then trips over her spaghetti limbs, drunk and pale. A flush brightens her cheek, she laughs I wish I could put it in my pocket. Keep fighting the shadows mum ,I wanna say. Put the lipstick on and the eye liner,just don't do it for him, it never was for him. Doing things for people ages us,it sucks the sweet essence out of our being.fuck I wanna be selfish like he is. Do part time love and cause full time trouble. I study Hera's she climbs to her six foot one frame the dirt from the wood panel kitchen floor sticking to her brown hair. " You love me still right?" She tightens the rope of the blue and red nightingale kimono," you see me right."

" I see you." I mutter quietly more to convince myself. " Just remember what grandpa always says,"

"My daughter's too good for him, my daughter was a super model in New York, The Tommy's , the Klein's, Moschino, Abracadabra ooh la la, the men they worship her,"

Mother laughs, " men rarely look at me with all the spit and vomit on my chin."

"Wipe it off honey ," I say in a tone reminiscent of her former commanding one. "Don't do that."

I take three steps to the sink and run the cold water, I keep it running, and bring out her favourite glass tumbler. " You think I'm prettier than her?" She tilts her head up her brown eyes burning a hole in my skin. " I think you've migrated from your senses.she looks like a Martian,"

" No she doesn't she looks like she's still sixteen."

I pass her the tumbler. " You don't wanna be sixteen mum, and feel like this." Not in this age, not in this time.