Forget Me Not - Shawn Mendes Fanfiction

Kill Me With A Dream

    Shawn? Where have I heard that name before? Shawn? Was it spelled Sean or Shawn? Was he in my science class in my first high school or in my choir class in my second high school? Shawn? Was he a friend of a friend? Was he in the football team? God damn it, where have I heard that name?

"Anaiah!" I snapped my head back to Shawn as he's waved his hand in front of my face. We couldn't stand to be in the rain any longer so we walked all the way back to my dorm building. I wouldn't let him inside my own dorm room though because oh dear God, a girl's room is private... and that needs to be respected.

"Yes? Hi, sorry," I spattered out feeling embarrassed, which Shawn just found amusing as I heard him chuckle slightly through his nose.

"I asked if I can get your number so I can text you later for the kick back? Only if that's cool with you?" He begins to look a little red on the apple of his cheeks. I can feel my own cheeks heating up too but that's just because I'm a natural born socially awkward person. All though, no one ever tells me I am. Whenever little conversation arise like those, "What did you think of me when you first met me," questions pop up, people always just say that they thought I was pretty chill. You know, nothing more than an average answer, so I guess I'm good at hiding my awkwardness.

"Oh yeah, sure," I say getting out my phone. He hands me his and I put in my contact information, which then he sends me a quick text saying, "It's Shawn :)" so that I can save his number on my phone.

"Cool, so I'll see you later then?" He asks making his way down the three concrete steps of my building outside back in the rain. I nod my head and he smiles.

"Good, remember no sad music. Think positive thoughts," he suggests giving me another smile.

"Promise," I say giving him a little wave. He returns the wave and turns forward making his way to where ever he's headed off to. I close the building door behind me and make my way over to my room. After turning into a few different halls, I unlock my room and shut the door behind me. I lean my back against the door and let out an exasperating sigh.

    My phone buzzes in my pocket again so I reach for it and see that Danny started a live video on Instagram. I didn't want him to know that I was keeping tabs on him and I know that if I watch his video, my username would pop up and he would see it. He doesn't deserve that kind of power over me. Sure, so I'm keeping up to date with him, but he doesn't need to know that. He needs to know that I don't care... even if I secretly do.

    I throw my book bag on my rocking chair in front my desk and dim the lights. Shawn only said that I shouldn't listen to sad music, but he never said I shouldn't lay on the floor with the lights dim. And that's exactly what I do as I plop my self on the ground with my back on the floor and my hand lazily tossed across my stomach. My other hand lingers on the floor next to my face with no motion as my hair is sprawled out in a disarray fashion. Even without a mirror, I can tell I look lifeless. I feel lifeless.

    I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna let the day carry on with myself on this hard carpeted floor, listening to airplanes hover over my building occasionally. The air conditioner was the only thing producing noise in my room until it came to a sudden halt. It is now dead silent in my room and I can't even hear the sound of my own breathing as I let the memories of Danny and I play on repeat inside my head.

    Since I am a military brat, I had to move to two different high schools. One in Missouri and one in Texas. I spent freshman through junior year in Waynesville High School and I spent my last year in a high school named Bel Air. Bel Air is where I met Danny.  I was only able to spend my senior year with him and therefore, because it was only one year, I am fully capable of remembering every single memory I have of him. It truly is a curse, but maybe more of an old habit as I can't bare to bring myself to forget those once sincere memories now turned rotten.