In Times Of Doubt

Introduction

"Shut up!" The man in the black sweater growled. He was getting frustrated because for a ten-year-old she was sure giving him a tough time. "Please bhuti Thabo" the girl begged, she couldn't understand why this was happening to her.

Truth is, Thami had always been a strong black girl, a gene herited from her mother. She had learned from her single mother that nothing was over until you declared it so. Using her strength she tried kicking and making the vigorous man struggle a bit, with his big hands holding a tight grip over hers. After many failed attempts Thami could do nothing but give in to this cruel man.

"Yaa I got you now" the man remarked after acknowledging Thami's surrender, he slowly placed his enormous scruffy hands on her thighs, carefully caressing over her body as though admiring it, he started going further and further up and was soon in contact with the silk- like underwear she was wearing.

Thami was wincing out silent cries, with eyes closed facing to her closed bedroom's door. The rough hands snatched away the underwear and Thami was sure it had cut her skin somewhere, but that wasn't of much concern because on top of her was a big man, a man who had now unzipped his pants and pulled out his penis. Thabo took a look at his victims face before he took away her innocence, he saw how the tiny chocolate coloured face was so much out of hope, but Thabo didnt care now. Thami was "fresh meat" and he was going to take a small bite. Thabo let out a soft chuckle at the thought of "fresh meat".

He let out a big scream before inserting his junk into the small, harmless body. Thami could feel her insides tearing up as the man started thrusting on her. He went faster and faster and as the pace increased, so did Thami's hate for herself increase. How could she lead Thabo on like that? She was sure it was her mini skirts and summer dresses that lead the poor man on, she knew it was her fault that this was happening.

Thami had heard of little girls getting raped by their uncles but she was certain it wouldn't happen to her, especially not by her favourite next-door-neighbour.

He always came by the Cele's house as a friendly gesture. He'd always make sure to bring Thami dried fruit and snacks from work, Thami's favourite. Thami's mother, Pamela, and Thabo shared a close relationship. They would always sit together during weekends, when they were both off from work, and talk about the "whimsical adventures of life". Thami had never understood why two adults would engage in such an overrated conversation.

She had always been curious, from a very young age, just like her mother. Pamela would sometimes hate how much alike she and her daughter were, especially when Thami would occasionally question everything her mother told her to do, as though she didn't believe in her mother's decisions. Pamela trusted Thabo and so did Thami.

But on this particular day, the one day Pamela had to leave Thami alone in the house, the day Thami had been so excited to be "home alone" because her mother never allowed it to happen; Thami lost her innocence.

She lay there with blood on and around her thighs, she could feel the pain of the incident physically but also emotionally. The man was now gone and she finally let out a loud cry for someone, anyone, to come and see the state she was in. She looked up to the ceiling and with disgust to herself, tried covering her now very open legs. "It's my fault", she kept saying to herself, "my fault".