In Times Of Doubt

Chapter 1

It had been exactly 9 years since Thami had been raped. 9 years which she herself would have never imagined she'd survive. Although it happened so long ago she still remembered it like it was yesterday.

His touch and his embrace still lingered in her mind. She'd sometimes even have nightmares of the incident, but they had gradually decreased over the years. The truth is, Thami had long forgiven Thabo, it was a matter of forgiving herself that troubled her.

Pamela, her mother, had previously suggested that she see a psychologist who would "help" her get through it, but Thami knew she didn't need one. She'd get through it with the Lord's help. She had found writing therapeutic for her, which assisted her tremendously in healing.

She had dozens of letters dedicated to her rapist, mostly asking him why he had done it, she couldn't understand. Frankly, she knew she'd never understand.
She was reading her favourite book when she heard a soft knock on her bedroom door.

"Baby can I come in?" Pamela whispered softly, she was always so calm and gentle, one of the reasons why Thami loved her mother. "Sure" she replied hearing the door open slightly afterwards, with her mom taking a few steps in before sitting at the edge of her bed.

"Are you ready to finally leave this place?" She said smiling widely at the now grown, beautiful and smart lady beside her. She admired her daughter's natural beauty and could feel tears filling in her eyes. Thami had a light, chocolate coloured skin tone with large, beautiful round eyes. She had a cute round nose which her mother would always tease her of. Her hair was a long afro which Thami had always taken care of. She was a petite girl with a beautiful body figure.

Thami took her time before answering her mother's question as though having an inner conflict of whether she was ready or not. After letting out a loud sigh she looked at her mothers glossy eyes and smiled a bit, "I don't want to leave you here alone" she said innocently.

"Baby it's time for you to spread your wings and fly on your own now" Pamela replied with a soft tone. "I know ma, I'm excited about going to Johannesburg but I'm scared. I've never been away from home." Thami said with a concerned, unsure voice. Part of her couldn't wait to leave home but she was also scared of the thought of being alone.

Before Pamela could answer her, Thami's phone buzzed indicating that she was receiving a call. She mouthed "sorry" to her mom before answering it. "Hey Sine" she said joyfully. Sinenceba was Thami's bestfriend of 8 years. They were practically sisters because they were always together. They shared a special connection because Sine had also experienced trauma during her childhood years.

"Okay I'll be over there in 10 minutes" Thami said with concern. After ending the call, she placed her phone on the bed and started packing her books neatly away. "Is everything okay?" Pamela asked. "I'm going over to Sine's mom I'll be back before dinner, I love you." She said ignoring her mother's inquisitive being, while kissing her on the cheek and going out of the room without any further explanations.

...

After a short walk over to Sine's house, Thami reached the front door and knocked.  She was a bit hesitant when she didn't hear a reply and so reached out her hand to knock again.  The door swung open just as Thami motioned to knock. She saw in front of her an image she couldn't bear. Sinenceba was standing at the door with bloodshot eyes and smiled weakly at Thami who immediately went over to her bestfriend and gave her a warm, comforting hug.