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Allison's Thoughts 6

Allison's Thoughts

Harry recently opened himself up about the way he is. He blames it on his parents, but schizophrenia doesn't occur because of issues your parents have. It's all in the genetics and chemical makeup of the brain.

I falsely diagnosed him as bipolar in my report because I did not want him under my care any longer. Him being bipolar also means less intensive therapy, and time after time he has shown me that he does not want any help, no matter how desperately he needs it.

I don't know what to do anymore. Why am I attracted to a man who has no ability to feel emotion? Why do I find myself yearning for his poisonous touch, knowing that the more I give, the more he takes?

I don't know anything anymore.

----

"I haven't seen you in a while, sweetheart," Frankie, Allison's father said, sipping his tea as he sat across from his daughter. "How have you been?"

Her dad wasn't someone she got to see very often. After her mom was killed, she rarely saw him because he couldn't stand to be near the city that took her life.

You mean since I last saw you at my graduation when I got my master's in psych? She wanted to say sarcastically, raising her eyebrow. You know, nothing much. My boyfriend was murdered, I got a job and I'm fucking a sociopath that I was supposed to help get better. The regular Tuesday.

"Evan was killed. You would've known that if you bothered to call," she simply said, taking a bite out of her cranberry muffin. It wasn't very good, and if it was up to her she wouldn't have even ordered anything. Her father still believed that cranberry muffins were still her favorite like they were growing up, so he ordered one ahead for her to eat.

They were seated at a cafe in Hell's Kitchen as snow fell outside, and Allison yearned to go back to Brooklyn where Harry was in order to avoid the tense, awkward air between her dad.

It was easier with him. Harry made his intentions clear from the beginning and never wavered on them. He intended to get her in his bed. He did, and she would probably continue to until she or he got bored.

She no longer cared as much as she used to, and she was even thinking taking a job offer to be less hands-on with patients. No matter how much she tried to push Perrie out of her head, Allison felt that it was the her own fault she was dead.

Allison even kept her suicide note in her wallet as a reminder of not seeing the signs soon enough. She couldn't let herself attach to a patient. Not again.

"—times must I apologize for not being there?" It was only then that she realized that her father was talking.

"What?" She asked, confused. What were they even discussing?

He only sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for the funeral—"

"Don't bother, I didn't even stay myself," she admitted, picking at the now crumbled muffin in front of her. "I left."

His eyebrows raised, and he stared at her. "You left Evan's service? Why?"

She shrugged. "There was no point. His mother basically called me a whore, and his body wasn't even being put in the ground. His murder is still an open police investigation."

Her father's eyebrows furrowed, and she could practically see the lawyer side of his personality come to light. "Allison, you know you're one of the prime suspects since you're the girlfriend. Why would you leave early?"

"Because I'm not guilty, and I don't care how it looks," she replied, rolling her eyes. "I would have fled the country by now if I was."

"But Alli—"