They say you need to hit rock bottom
Before you realise you have to climb back up
Sitting at my computer after my shower
I didn't listen to the voices and i wore the cardigan
Now I'm lower than ever
Fat
Ugly
Stupid
Worthless
Nobody could ever love you
You disgust me
I ignore them and log on to the internet
I find a website
Full of memoirs and funny relatable things about one thing
Recovery
Memories flood back to me
My eyes pool with tears
They stain my purple elephant pajama bottoms
Yes!
You're realizing it
You'll never successfully beat us
We'll never leave you
It's okay, we're here
I picture dark figures
Comforting me
It's sharp nails
Wiping away tears
I'm so tired of fighting
I can't do this
I'm tired..so tired
Don't fight then
We love you
When everything else leaves you
We'll stay
I buckle over as sobs rack my body
It hurts
Everything hurts
My ribs poke my arms
My spine pressing against the back of my chair
Every breath takes more effort than the last
But something beautiful happens
As I cry
All the anger
Pain
Frusturation
Falls out of me with the tears
The claws poisioning my brain
Get looser and looser
Almost 2 years of torture
I want to be free
From this damn voice
Weight is being lifted
It's there but not as strong
My angry and helpless sobs
Seem to take over my mind
This disorder is not my friend
This disorder is NOT my friend
You are not my friend
You're going to kill me
please...
Remember... why..
We can help...
Don't forget me...
