What Does Being Smart Have To Do With Love? |A Mikayuu Love Story|

Is That Love?

M I K A

Why? Why am i so stupid? Why did i tell him everything? Why did i stay calm? Why did i kiss him? Why did i not die?

Why do i have feelings for Yuu?

I didnt get sleep when Yuu left the room. I stayed awake and thought about my life. I dont know when i got these feelings or when they started to come out but they need to go away. I cant have feelings for Yuu. He will probably hurt me. I cant say for sure if he will but I know that anytime i get close to someone, they leave me or hurt me in any chance they get. I have been through a lot and getting hurt is been the Number 1 thing that has happened through out my whole entire life.

I love Yuu, i wont deny that, but i cant be with him for many reasons. I get off my bed and walk to the door. I walk out my room and go to my study room. Yuu has never seen me go to school but thats only because i got kicked out a month ago. I never told anyone but i still felt that i needed to study no matter what.

I walk in and lock the door then sit at the desk. I took a pen and a sheet of paper then i started writing as the tears rolled down my face.

***

Y U U

Its dinnertime and i haven't seen Mika leave his room. His mom wanted me to check on him so I'm walking to his room now. I get to his room and knock on the door but there is no answer. I knock again but no answer.

"Mika its dinnertime. Your mom wants you at the table." I wait but still no answer. Slightly worried i open the door slowly. I look inside and its dark so i turn on the light. The room is empty. "Mika?" I walk in and spot a paper on his pillow. I grab it and read it silently.

Dear whoever grabbed this sheet,
If you are reading this then I've either already committed suicide or I'm about to at the downtown bridge. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I couldn't take my past and it has affected me so much that i couldn't even keep my education in check. To tell you the truth, i got kicked out of school. I didn't tell anyone because i was scared of getting hit and yelled at. I thought studying everyday would show that I'm in school still but i figured you guys would find out soon enough. Mom, if you are reading this, i love you. And Yuu...if you are reading this....i love you too....not a brotherly love but....a passionate love that wont ever go away. Im sorry i had to do this to you. Please forgive me.
Love, Mika.

Tears were rolling down my face and it seemed like everything was happening in slow motion. I ran out of the room yelling for Mika's mom. She heard me and i told her to get in the car quickly and to go to the downtown bridge. She kept asking me why but i couldn't explain quick enough so i ran out of the house more tears falling as i ran as fast as i could. I bumped into people but i didn't care.

My tears were blocking my vision but when i tried to wipe them away they just came back. I was almost to the bridge and i didn't want to want to stop i just ran faster. I reached the bridge and saw Mika sitting on the edge crying. I stopped.

"Mika!!" He looked surprised and looks at me. "Mika please don't do this!" He looks away.

"I have no choice Yuu!"

"Yes you do Mika! You have a choice! Do you really want to hurt the people who love you?!"

"Tell me exactly who fucking loves me in this fucked up world!"

"Your mom loves you! Your aunts and uncles love you!...i love you!" I saw his eyes widen and he gripped the edge of the bridge tightly.

"Stop lying to me! Im a messed up person and i cant be helped! I can never be helped so no one in their right mind would never love me!" He cried harder looking down. I took a step towards him.

"But i love you Mika! Do you want to hurt me?" I risked two more steps towards him. He had his eyes closed.

"I..." I was getting closer to him. I could see that he was shaking.

"I promise to take care of you Mika. Ill do whatever it takes to help you. No matter how long it takes." I reached him and slowly took his right hand and held it. I felt him shaking badly. "So I'm going to ask you this again," i whispered. "Do you want to hurt me?"

"N...no. I don't." He hides his face with his hair.

"Then please, please don't do this." My voice cracks as i keep whispering. "Please don't hurt me and leave me here. Please.." He looks at me slowly.

"O-okay..." He nods slightly as tears are still rolling down his face. I wipe the tears off his face then i kiss him softly.

"Come on, lets go home." I suggest and he nods, slowly getting off the edge of the bridge. He looked broken and messed up and i realized that his cuts were visible. I felt extreme sadness to see him like this.

I kept my arm around him, seeing that he was too weak to walk. I looked in his eyes and they were dull. Not the bright red that i was used to seeing. I looked down. He was going to need some serious help. I was going to give him all the help he needed. I was going to be there for him.

No matter what happens.

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Sorry for not updating in a while. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
        -Ro💖