Inner Thoughts

Thoughts

They don't know what it's like inside my head. If they could they would see the hurt and he-

No, it's going to be fine. Stop crying.

Maybe if you tell yourself that enough times it becomes true. I've heard that from somewhere.

Okay, let's put a cry for help out and see if anyone cares.

Nothing. Well, I did just post it a few minutes ago. Maybe I should post it on Instagram too. Yeah, not a lot of people responds on Snapchat.

Still nothing. There still yelling. I don't understand why they always yell. Maybe it is always my fault.

Why is my 10 year old brother telling me it's going to be okay. I'm 15, I should be telling him that. There has to be something wrong with me. I want this to go away.

Pain could be the answer. Cutting.

God damn. Why am I still crying? I'm a 15 year old boy, I should not be crying over a little yelling. Stop it now!!!

All I want is to please him. I don't do enough for him. I just want him to be happy and proud of me. Maybe it was the fact that I had him pick me up from school.

Stop fucking crying! You don't need this.

No, don't punch the wall. That will just make him madder. Maybe he could hit me. Then at least I will feel something.

God, look at yourself. Your eyes are all red from crying. So pathetic. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!!

But I can't. Maybe there is something that I can use to cut with. No, what if he found out.

No one has replied yet. It's been a bit. Why hasn't anyone responded? 4 people liked it and 5 have seen it. Why didn't they say anything? I just need a sign that someone cares.

SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!

This is the third time I have thought of cutting. Maybe that would help.

Someone responded. SOMEONE RESPONDED!!! They are so nice. This is just what I needed.

Okay. Stop crying. Please. God, why do I have to beg myself. Why am I this weak?

Okay, you need to respond so she knows you got it. Okay, done.

Maybe some music would help.

Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place, like somehow you just don't belong? And no one understands you?

That's just like my life. God damn, I feel so tired now I'm done crying. I think I'll go lay down.

SHE RESPONDED AGAIN!!! This is big. Okay, don't over think it, something simple.

I could just lay here and never walk up. Yeah, that would be the best way to die. Simple in my sleep.

Is everything my fault? Their still fighting. Maybe that wouldn't have happened if I just did what he wanted.

This is great. She keeps responding. I guess she really does care. She wants to text again tomorrow. YES THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED!!!

God, don't cry again. Just say yes or something like that.

Okay. simple sweet. I need to get asleep. I'm having problems sleeping. Maybe that's why I have been crying so much? Who knows.

What radio station should I listen to fall asleep? Bowling for Soup? No, Simple Plan.

Okay, sleep now. Any time.

Why is this not working?

I love his song.

Drop a heart, break a name. We're always sleeping in, sleeping for the wrong team.

STOP SINGING AND GO TO SLEEP!!!

God, why is this so hard? Stupid ADD. I just want to sleep.

Why did everyone...

Hey! I hope you liked this chapter. I don't know why I wrote it today but I did. Anyway, was it okay? Did it make any sense?