Inner Thoughts

Actions

I walked down the halls, pretending not to hear what everyone was saying. The kids at school love to talk about me.

What has Tristan been doing?

I wonder who fucked him this time?

Is he really gay or is that just a cover?

I just keep walking. The smile on my face was fake. Unreal. My walk was fast, picking up speed closer I got to that bathroom.

I reached down into my pocket and rubbed the blade I keep in there. There was a mark from being in place there so many times. It was something that I never left anywhere. It was always on me.

There were a few kids in the hallway, every one of them talks to their friends. Laughing, talking, it seemed so normal for them. But they were talking about someone. Me.

I opened the door to the bathroom, quickly taking notice that so one was in there. This would make thing easier and quicker. I took the last stall, the big one where I could sit on the ground and no one would know, or care.

Once the door was closed and looked, I took a seat on the ground next to the toilet then pulled out the blade.

This blade had been used to cut me many times, some being in this very stall. It had a slight red color to it, the way it didn't shine in the light like fresh ones.

I rolled up my sleeve, noting the scars that were already there, and cut over them. There was no reason to create more. I cut four straight lines into my left arm before I stopped for a second, looking at my work.

The cuts were not that deep, it would take only a few days to heal, and if they were new cuts, they would have most likely not scared.

I got some toilet paper, cleaned off the blade before placing back into its place in my pocket. Then, I pressed it down on the cuts, it stung but nothing else. It soaked up the blood, help to stop the cuts from bleeding. Once the cuts stop the bleeding, I got off the ground, flushed away the evidence and opened the door.

I when over to a sink and washed my hands. While I did this, I looked up in the mirror. A few stray tears fell from my eyes. I reached a wet hand up and rubbed them away and when back to washing my hands. After a few more seconds of look in the mirror, I made my way to class.

The bell rang a few seconds later, telling everyone it was time for class. I walked out of the bathroom, trying to blend into the crowd in the hallway that seemed to be going the opposite direction I need to go. I pushed my way through the crowd.

I walked into my class just as the bell rang. I quickly took my seat in the back of the room. I grabbed out my notebook and a pen. I opened the book, getting things ready for class to start. I took a deep breath.

The teacher walked into the room and got the class started. Once she was done talking, everyone got up to find their partners to do the assignment with. No one even looked over at me. I just sat in my seat, stalling time before I had to find someone or work by myself.

I got up and found that everyone had a partner, so I got work by myself. I got out the poster board and got to work. I colored things in and filled in lines. I was the first one done. I handed the poster to my teacher before I when back to my seat.

I could hear what others were saying about me.

God, what a nerd.

Freak of nature, if you ask me.

Are all gays that smart or is he just the weird one?

I didn't listen. I pulled out my phone, plugged my headphones in and listen to some music. I didn't like other people to hear my music, so I played it low but loud enough that I couldn't hear anyone around me.

It was on of the only peace I found in my life.

That was until at song started to play, a song the was his life. Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan.

It made me tear up and shed a few tears and that seemed to get everyone's attention. I heard them over my music, the things they were saying.

What a cry baby.

Oh, who made him so upset?

Little pussy.

There were many other things said but I blocked them out. I got up, forgetting about any of my stuff and walked out of the classroom.

I walked back to that bathroom I was in that morning, when to the same stall and locked it. I slide down on the wall. I rolled up my right sleeve and pulled out that same blade that was warm from being in my pocket.

The lines weren't as straight as the last ones, I was crying and it was my left hand. My left hand was harder to write and things like that. But I spelt out the word: Worthless.

I followed the same process as before but this time I didn't go to class. I walked straight out the school doors.  

Hey! I hope this chapter was good. I hope I just put the actions in there but if there was anything else, must have been important. Comment, vote and share.