It was Monday morning now and I had to get back to work today.My Son has been a handful ever since he came home but honestly whenever I cry because of Selena he always seems to put a smile on my face.He was currently sleeping in my bed between two pillows so he doesn't feel lonely.He kept me up all dahm night with his crying so I was dreading going to work but I still love him with everything in me.
I grabbed my uniform and put it on.I always felt kinda sexy in it but I realized that I had no one to be sexy for anymore and my heart dropped.I really don't need it to be a bad day today.I went over to my mirror and put my helmet on and stuffed my hair inside it,ready.
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Justin's outfit 💦💦👆👆👆👆
I grabbed my baby and headed downstairs.My mom's a teacher but she retired so every morning she has breakfast hot and ready.Todays her first day babysitting her grandson so I hope it goes well,of course I'll pay her I'm not an asshole taking advantage of my retired mother.
"Morning mom."I said as I walked into the kitchen with my baby."good morning my two beautiful babies."she kissed my cheek and angels forehead.He kinda scrunched up his face when he felt his grandma's lips.Thank God he didn't wake up though."I already ate Jason so give me the baby and eat your food."she grabbed the baby and went upstairs."thanks Mom."Honestly she cooks better than anybody I kmow and she always makes my mouth water with her food.
I finished up my breakfast and put my plate in the sink.I had about twenty minutes left so I decided I should go say bye to my mom and my son.I went up the stairs and walked over to my mom's room her door was open and she was sitting on her loveseat with my baby in her arms."mom I gotta go now,thanks for the food."okay drive safe.""all his stuff is in my room on the desk and I have a couple of bottles ready for him with water okay.""yes Jason I can handle it."I went over to her to kiss her on the check and my angels cheeks as well they were so soft."alright bye."I grabbed my keys from the little table in the hallway.I went out the front door and started driving to work.
(Amanda's P.O.V)
Since today was actually the first day with just me and my grandson I actually had time to bond with him and honestly I fell in love. He's the most beautiful baby boy ever,not just cause he looks exactly like my son but the fact that he's so innocent and not to mention he's my son's flesh and bone.
Selena's funeral was getting pretty close it's on Thursday and every single time I try to talk to Jason about it he tries really hard to change the subject.I know he's in pain but he needs to deal with it and let his pain go.He needs to talk to someone.I Know he loves me and respects me as his mother but it really worries me that he won't open up to me.
I heard the baby crying and I guess it was time for a bath because he just woke up from a nap."it's okay baby Nana's got you."I picked him up and started patting his back.He started to visibly relax.I layed him on the bed and started taking off his clothes and he started whining a little bit.
Suddenly my phone started to flash and ring which made the baby jump and start crying."hello.""hi Mom I'm on my way ho...Why is he crying?""Relax jase I'm about to give him a bath you scared him when you made my phone ring."okay thanks Mom I'll be there in a lil bit.""okay bye."
(Jason's P.O.V)
I was driving home and I figured my mom might be a little tired to cook so I stopped by McDonald's and got us a meal.She can never so no to that.I honestly missed my son so much I know I was being annoying with the guys at work I kept going on and on about baby angel and showing them pictures.I couldn't help but think about Selena she was always on mind.I actually forgot she was gone and I almost ordered a meal for her.I would be lying if I said I didn't she'd a couple of tears.
I drove up the driveway grabbed the bag of food and headed for the front door.I opens the door and got a whiff of the smell of my home.It always relaxed me and made me feel comfortable."mom I'm home!""I'll be right down!"she yelled.I walked over to the kitchen and placed the food on the counter.
"Look who's here."I turned around and my baby was wide awake in his grandma's arms."my little angel I missed you so much."I grabbed him and started kissing his forehead and all over his little face he instantly scrunched up his face I guess he doesn't like that.He smelled so good like I can still smell the baby lotion but he had his own certain smell to him.It reminded me so much of Selena they both smell kinda like vanilla or lavender I can't explain it.I just know they both smell the same it made me kinda happy actually.
"I brought food mom."..."oh thank God I was starving."..."was he tough today?""oh no he's exactly like you I just did everything I used to do to you to make you stop crying and it worked.I actually had fun with him.The baby started whining a little in my arms"He's probably hungry honey he ate a good two hours ago.""K, I'll go get it.I started walking up the stairs to my room to get the bottle.I grabbed the formula and started mixing it.As soon as I pushed it against his lips he opened his little mouth and stopped crying instantly.I went downstairs to eat my dinner.
"Jason how you been holding up?"my mom asked me as I sat back down on the chair."Okay.""you know Jason you don't have to hide your feelings."She started rubbing my arm."mom I'm fine."she was starting to piss me off."I just want you know that I'm here okay."I tied the baby in his car seat and left him in the kitchen I wanted to go to the backyard cause I needed some air.I get she's my mom and she loves me but she doesn't need to keep bringing that up.I was standing in the middle of the yard and it was getting a little dark.
I looked down because something caught my attention.It was shinny and it was laying in the grass.I bend down to grab it and I felt my heart drop.It was Selena's earring that I gave her for her birthday.I remembered that she lost it.Our memories keep haunting my mind and I just can't take it no more.I felt my body get limp and I fell on my knees and broke down it was just too much pain to keep locked inside and I couldn't keep it in anymore.I lost it.I knew the girl that I was deeply in love with was never coming back I can still feel the pain.I can still remember the way she closed her eyes slowly when her heart stopped beating.I felt as if I got my heart ripped out of my chest it was just too much.I needed her.I needed my mom.
I held the earring in my hand as I ran inside the house almost choking on my sobs."mom!"I yelled for her with tears running down my face.I heard the chair screeching against the kitchen floor and soon saw my mom running in the room."mom I found her earring and I miss her so fucking much."She didn't say anything she just wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to the couch.I started to cry on her chest and to be honest I didn't need to her to say a word I just wanted her to hold me.I just wanted her to make this emptiness and loneliness go away. "Mommies here jase."she held me for a pretty long time while I cried.I started to feel my eyes getting heavy and my mom's fingers slowing scratching my hair.I soon fell asleep with tears in my eyes and my head on her lap.
