I'm supposed to be the one (Deuce X Danny fanfic)

5

(This is gunna be shitty cuz I forgot what I wrote before ('Д' ) )

The conversation went on without me as usual since I don't talk much in the morning. Or any other time. But who cares, they're enjoying themselves! That's right Aron, they're happy without you. You should probably just leave so they can be even more happy. I mean, why not? I'm not much of a person who people would want to be around. Maybe I should-

I felt a stab in my stomach and instantly I tried not to cringe in pain. God I hate the stomach pain. But at least I'm far enough into my anorexia where my stomach no longer makes noise, that would suck. Its only been 19 hours since Arina made me eat, I should be fine!

My stomach is smaller than it was before. Its worth the stomach pain. Its worth passing out while exercising. Its worth the hair loss. Its worth seeing a smaller number than yesterday. Its worth the headaches. Its worth being dizzy when I stand up. Its worth the stretch marks. I did this to myself so its fine. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be like this.

Pathetic.

Attention whore.

Worthless.

Weak

Look at them enjoying themselves without you. Don't you think I'd be even better if you weren't around? I'm sure they would agree!

"Hey Aron! Wanna go to Denny's?" Gadjet asked with a smile. Oh god, Denny's, my only weakness. I loved going there every other week a few years ago but I haven't gone since I developed my... Habits. My favorite was their pancakes.

I blushed lightly, feeling embarrassed for wanting to eat. "I uh," Dont do it Erlichman! I really want Denny's right now... No you don't. "Sure." I felt myself smile a bit. Not a big one, but small enough to be noticeable.

~•~•~

I regret my decision.

I want to eat some pancakes but I know the consequences if I do. Maybe just two... If I let you eat, you have to do something for me. I already know the consequences of me eating will be. Ive done this before.

We have been seated for only about 8 minutes, so we are all looking at the menu. Arina looks up and chuckles at me. I look at her, confused and honestly, anxious. I clear my throat. "What's so funny?" I ask, my voice was thankfully not shaky. She put on her typical cute smile and spoke. "You were intensely staring at the picture of pancakes." She giggled at the end. I felt shame but hid it with a light laugh. Jesus Aron, you haven't even eaten anything but you still manage to look like a fat ass!

Anthony chuckled in amusement. "Man, I kinda wish I had a sibling that I could bring on tour with." He smiled with pure contentness. I shook my head. "Living with Arina for 19 years was enough for me, but its not too bad having her on the bus with us." I shrugged. Arina chuckled and playfully punched my shoulder, which made me smile. It was small but genuine.

That smile went away as soon was the waiter arrived. "G'morning everyone, I'm Ryan. What can I get you all?" I wasn't paying attention to their orders but I ordered last. "U-um I'll get two pancakes." My voice shook with my cheeks burning from embarrassment and shame. I guess Ryan noticed my anxiety and gave me a polite smile. "Alright, well, I'll have those orders out as soon as they come out!" He said before leaving. I sighed, 'God I hate myself.' I looked up to see Anthony snickering. "Damn Aron, the guy wasn't that hot. you didn't have to stutter." He smirked. I felt my eyes widen and my cheeks heat up. "I-I..." Had nooo idea what to say. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "So you agree that he was hot?" Jimmy teased back to Gadjet.

Gadjet pouted and looked down at his phone with no verbal response. Jimmy smiled. "Score one for Jim Jim and Deucey Deuce!" I burst out laughing. "Don't ever call me Deucey Deuce." I said when I calmed down. Jimmy laughed. "No promises."

wow an actual update! and its more than 300 words! new record -_-