Infinity |Kim Seokjin|

5~

It was a blurred mess. The guys comforting me after I spilled the story. Namjoon was able to talk to PD-nim and ask for some time off. He agreed thankfully.

A few days later I woke up to a soft shaking from Namjoon. It was already the day of the funeral. I hung my head low as I got into a nice tux and stashed a small orchid, Y/n favourite flower, into the chest pocket. Looking in the mirror, I looked like a mess. Y/n wouldn't be happy, a voice in the back of my head spoke. I brushed my hair some and made it look nice. We headed to the place, Y/n's ashes were being sprinkled into the earth, the rest I held onto.

Then it was back to the normal routine of things. Practice. Concerts. Fan meets. Repeat. I sprinkled some ashes in every city we held a concert in. After we finished our tour, Y/n was essentially in every corner of earth. I know she's happy, smiling brightly, although probably lonely, waiting for me. But right now is not my time.

"Get the heat blanket!" The paramedics were yelling at each other to save Jin. Then one walked away in a fury. He cursed lowly, but loud enough that Jungkook and Namjoon were able to hear it. Tears welled in both of their eyes, knowing their hyung could not be saved. Jungkook's knees buckled down by his hyung's cold body.

"I should have called earlier! I should have helped!" Jungkook yelled at himself, slapping his face and hitting his head on the ground. Namjoon wrapped his arms around Jungkook tightly, holding him calmly.

"It wasn't your fault, Jungkook." Namjoon tried to calm Jungkook's enraged figure.

After the ambulance took Jin's cold body, the two drove back to Jin's house for the night, since the dorm was far away.

"I'll grab the blankets from the closet. You should rest, Jungkook," Namjoon said lowly, before covering him in the blanket comfily. After he was fast asleep, the leader walked around, looking at photos of Jin and Y/n, and Jin with the guys. A note was spotted on the door to Jin's room.

Hey guys. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I want you to know. Y/n was my everything. I can't stress that. But what I want you to know is this. Since her sudden passing, I've been suffering from some mental illness. I didn't think much of it. But it's getting worse and I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I'm scared I might accidentally hurt myself beyond help. I'm scared that I might hurt someone by accident. I'm scared something bad will happen to someone close to me. You guys are my second family, and you guys made up a lot of who I am and I'm thankful for you guys.

~Seokjin