Rainbow 彩虹

#11: Eternal...

Jae's POV:

I forgot all about Joong that day... In fact I didn't get out from my tent for a whole week after Ze's funeral service... I was crying everyday... My eyes were so swollen and red from crying and lack of sleep that they were so bloodshot, one would think that I was suffering from red eyes...

I couldn't sleep cos once my eyes closed, I had nightmares of Ze being shot and dying in my arms. So instead, I cried myself to sleep every night. I cried and cried and cried until my eyes couldn't stay open anymore.

Nurse Kim tried to persuade me to eat, but I never had any appetite. And I would vomit out anything that went into my system. As a result, I lost weight rapidly. Until one day Dr Jung was called in to check on me, as Nurse Kim had found me unconscious in my tent from hunger and dehydration. This was when I came out from my cocoon...

And I realised that I couldn't mourn anymore for my sad and sorry state. I needed to get to work and fight back. The first thing I remembered was... Where was Joong? I missed him hugging me to console me when I cried... And again there was no one there to lend a shoulder for me to cry on this time... I had to go through another death alone... Some of the nurses told me that they had saw him get into one of the trucks sending recovered soldiers back to their camps... I was torn... I prayed hard that he would still be alive...

Anyway, I pulled myself together. Or rather, I FORCED myself together. I FORCED myself to work. I FORCED myself to work SO hard that I can forget everything and sleep at night...

A few months later.. The thing that I've been hating to the core had finally ended. But it wasn't without its victims...

I was badly defeated by it...

Wounded so badly that I didn't think that I could ever get back on my feet again...

I've lost the three most important people in my life...

My Dad...

My Mum...

My Ze...

As I walked back to my house, I noticed that Joong had already reached his house with his dad, and his mum and Yuki were welcoming them at the door with hugs and kisses. I looked over to my own house. There was no one there. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. But I blinked them back forcefully.

Joong's mum: JAE!!!

Joong's mum saw me and called and waved to call me over to their house. Joong pulled himself away from Yuki, and turned around. Our eyes met. But we didn't say anything.

Jae (forcing a smile): Ajumma, ajushi... annyeong haseyo... chaljinaessoyo?

I greeted Joong's parents. Joong's mum grabbed my hands and pulled me over for a hug.

Joong's mum: Oh my poor child... Gwenchanayo?

Jae: Ne... Gwenchana... Don't worry about me ajumma... I'll be fine...

Joong's mum: You wanna come over for dinner later? I've cooked a lot of food. Joong's fave Ja Jang Myun, your fave kimchi fried rice, and...

Jae (interrupting her): Komawoyo ajumma... But I'm going over to visit Ze's halmunhni (granny) later after I drop my things... Maybe next time...

Joong's thoughts: She looks so much thinner and so exhausted... Must have been hard on her at the medic's camp... Even her cheerful aura is gone... How come Ze-hyung didn't send her back?

Joong's mum: Oh I see... Next time then... I'll cook your fave kimchi fried rice again... Send our regards to his granny for me...

Jae (smiles): Ne... ajumma... next time I'll come by for dinner... Mianeyo... I gotta go back now... I don't want halmuhni to wait too long for me... Annyeong kyesayo...