Lunar Epiphanies

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Hey guys! These don't really have a name or title or even specific topic so I'm just going to start numbering them! Not much to say other than hope you all enjoy 😁✨ I'll let the writing do the talking
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I would assume that one would think because I didn't look, I didn't like, but that couldn't be further from the real and unbelievable truth. I would go on to assume that these thoughts alone were the product of what I only allowed them to see. Despite obtaining a constant skillful habit to avert my direct gaze while he was present, I looked at him often. Allowing my mind to wander always led back to his face, which I had taken the time to memorize every inch of; the curve of his lip, the shape of his nose, his smile, and how incredible he looked in a sweater. These thoughts would often make me cringe in disbelief at the fact that I was even so attracted to him to notice these things, but I always reminded myself that I was attracted rather to his personality and the friendship between the two of us instead of him as a whole. Whether this was true or simply a lie that I had construed because of the painful embarrassment of the whole situation, we'll never know, but one things for certain, as much as I tried, I couldn't get him out of my mind. His face would take center stage of my view behind the lids of wild dreaming eyes and I'd scold myself for how much I allowed him to enter my thinking space and distract me, but at the time, it seemed as though he was the most important thing; a top priority of sorts. So this behavior was nothing short of appropriate. But as my brain overflowed with thoughts of the many sounds of this and that and him, I always kept in the back of my mind that we would never be, we could never be, for he may not feel the same or I would never be ready for what he asked for or had to offer, our friendship would be ruined. And so, I'd remain content with the small glimpses that I would sneak while his eyes wandered astray, savoring them forever.
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Hey! What did you guys think?? Again these things are more personal than most of my other writing so please be kind. Any questions or Constructive Criticism? Knock yourselves out, I enjoy reading comments!

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Love ya,
-Trin<3