What am I supposed to think

Chapter 4

I got home and went inside after unlocking the door, only to find it as I expected, trashed. Picture frames busted, pots and pans all the way in the living room, crystal shattered, a bar chair broken, the whole house torn to pieces. I striped out of my clothes, and went straight to my room stepping over debris and not even caring what the place looked like, and changed into my sweatpants, doing the stereotypical drink wine and watch Netflix in my sweatpants alone after a bad day thing they always show girls doing in the movies. Well it actually works, so bite me. I heard the growl again but just yelled at it to shut up, which in retrospect wasn't the smartest thing to do, but made it quiet down. There was a knock at the door and I instantly knew who it was because it was our childhood password knock.

"Rissa, let me in."

"Go away and leave me the hell alone!"

"Carisa, please open the door. We need to talk, that was.. I don't know. I've never seen you do that to someone that I care about before!"

"Well if you care about her so much why don't you marry her!"

"Well that was actually the plan. That's why I wanted you to be there. Carisa, if you don't let me in, I'm going to let myself in."

I didn't respond, because how do you respond to that. He opened the door and came in and immediately stopped walking when he saw the place. He walked to my bedroom and sat on the foot of my bed.

"This wasn't you was it." he said calmly.

"Nope. If you want to lecture me about the demons in my house, how about just don't."

"Riss, why the hell would you keep this from me. This is fucking dangerous!"

"Because I didn't think you'd care."

"Why would I not care, Carisa? This is what I deal with everyday, I know how bad this is. If you would have told me I could've helped you."

"You have an entire other life in Vegas, Zak. You have a successful career, good friends, a girl that you love, and apparently you're getting married now. I know that you care, and I know you would've dropped everything to be here to help. That's exactly why I didn't tell you. You'd come here and you'd save the day and then you'd be gone again. I'm tired of doing that to myself. I'm tired of feeling so great every time that you come here, and then you just going away and taking all of that with you."

He looks intensely at me, and for the first time in a long time, I don't know what he's thinking. We sit in silence for a while before he opens his mouth to reply.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"I don't want anything from you Zak. I just need at least half of you to care when I try to tell you something. I need for you to recognize what I need from you. And I need for you to just stop faking it if you can't"