Don't Let Me Break More

Chapter 1 (Anxiety)

We were all trapped in one of several places. This week it was a castle. It had also been a log cabin, a high tech looking building, my horrific haunted house, and a random house that contained parts of every place. Currently I was trapped in one of the castle's many turrets. I had been shouting and pounding on the door for ages but the others didn't hear or if they did, they didn't respond. Finally I slid down the wall and ended up with my knees to my chest, my breathing was becoming short and erratic. I was beginning to feel a sense of loneliness that I hadn't felt in a really long time.

Finally the door opened, but it was nobody I recognized. A faceless emotion that came to stand in front of me. I was hardly aware of it until it's long nails lifted my head to look it in the eyes. It had the face of a girl, though it wasn't one I recognized.

My first encounter with her was not pleasant and all the encounters after it would be just as painful. She was management and I didn't fit into her image of a perfect person. No matter what she says I'm still a part of him. I just wish she'd never come back. But it's no big deal, who'd find it worthwhile to save me from my tortured life?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was talking to my host once more. We were all together and arguing as usual.

"You totally messed up in the middle of the show today." I whispered into his ear.

"No you didn't. You did a great job. Won't you shut up Anni? Logan stopped for a while so why can't you? You're more amazing than any of us Thomas. You're alive and wholly present in the world. You make thousands of people smile, why should you change anything about yourself or your life? To appease Anni? Trust me, he's not worth it." Prince whispered back into Thomas's brain. I started to walk away from that horrible emotion that made me feel like shit, before I heard Prince whisper those words to him that I always dreaded. Words I had hoped he would never say again. "Maybe you should start getting help for it again..."

I ran down the halls of the building, running from where I knew I would end up. Tears streaked down my face as I found myself locked in that same tower once more. Management walked in, her soulless features ready to begin. This time, I felt more broken. Maybe it was the pre-panic attack Prince had sent me into or maybe it was just me but this time as she beat me to leave me weaker in Thomas's body, I couldn't help but scream out. Every hit made me fade a little more, though not enough to die. I'm permanently caught in Limbo; I can't die but by the time she's done with me, I normally wish I could, anything would be better than this.

When she's done, I glance into a mirror at the side of the room. There are bruises along my neck that slide down onto my torso and go even lower. They burn along my legs and all over my skin. I see the blood oozing from under my eye and I try not to vomit. Slowly I shuffle towards the main room. Nobody notices me in the doorway at first, I'm too weak to carry myself farther into the room. They're all laughing and having fun, without me.

"You guys remember when I fell off the bed that one time?" Prince chuckled.

"Yeah, that was pretty funny! What about that time I tried to boil an egg in the microwave?" Dad added, smiling into the room.

"That was not a good day!" Logan smirked at the others. Prince turned serious all of a sudden.

"Speaking of bad days, do you think I was too hard on Anni earlier?" Prince asked.

"Not even remotely." Logan responded quickly.

"Well, you probably could have phrased it better. I mean, did you see the way he ran after you mentioned Thomas should get help? He ran so fast that I thought there was another explosion in the kitchen!" Dad responded, oddly sweet despite the serious tone of the conversation.

"I just want what's best for all of us, and Thomas does better when he sees less of anxiety."

"But he needs some anxiety in his life, it's the adrenaline that keeps him in motion. Not to mention we all have expressed some favorable words for him before. Remember when Logan called him sweet that one time, or when I said that he's just the most huggable in here besides me. And what about you Prince, I'm sure you haven't forgotten about the time you said..."

"Shut up, Dad. I remember."

"Do you remember what happened yesterday after you yelled at Anni? That was priceless!" The smirk and comment looked odd on Logan's face when his features were normally solely dominated by logic. A blush began to appear on Prince's face.

"So? I call him that all the time. He isn't worth much."

"Come now, that's not all you said." Logic started. My vision began to go hazy and I felt even more wobbly on my feet. I reached up to try and rub my aching forehead. I didn't realize that I was using the same hand that I had been supporting myself on until I was sprawled out on the floor and the world was growing dim.