broken harry

Chapter. 5

*Harrys pov*

i woke up again. not screaming, no noise, just silence. Louis arms are wrapped around my waist and his head on my chest. i don't move because i'm comfortable, and i think he is too. i don't want to wake him up again, he looks so peaceful, so safe, so, happy. unlike me, i can't hold it in anymore. im getting worse, sadder, lonelier every day and i don't know how to stop it. i don't know how to explain what happened.. it was so many years ago, yet, its so vivid in my memory. 

*flash back*

i was in my room, singing some songs i'd learnt at school that week. singing was, is my escape from life. my friends had just gone home half an hour before my uncle came over for diner. he came into my room and closed my door lightly, sitting down next to me, seemingly harmless, but i still got the chills remembering what he'd done to me last time, the slap, the punch, the threatning words.. i tried to forget while he was over, but i knew what i was in for. i couldn't tell my mother, he threatened to kill me if i did, if i told anyone. He came closer and pushed me to the ground, i whispered, pleading him to stop. he pulled my pants down with his free hand whispering that i deserved it. he was smart. he knew he had to stay quiet. he stroked my member lightly, making me panic. he had never done this before. i cried, tears spilling out of my eyes in fear. he wrapped his lips around me, fitting me easily into his mouth. he started a sucking motion, licking my tip before pulling his own pants down. he turned me onto my stomach and forced me onto my hands and knees. i felt his hard cock against my rear. i screamed in pain as he thrusted into me. i didn't know what to do, i had no way of getting free so i just let his finish his painful assult. once he'd finished, he picked up the bloody sheets and chaged them forcing me to have a shower and clean up before diner.

*end of flash back*

my breathing got heavier at the memory, my eyes began pricking with tears before my body gave in to the pain, the sobbing, the shaking. i couldn't hold it in any longer.. it was too much.

"Harry are you crying??" a worried voice asked

"Lo-Louis why are you a-awake" i stammered through the sobs.

"because your crying.. are you ok??" 

"i'm fine i'm just-" he cut me off

" talk to me, please.. i want to know why you screamed my name in your nightmare.." he pleaded

 "ok i will.. i'm sorry i woke you again" 

i've never talked to anyone about this, any of it, and of his assults. i don't know how i'm gong to say it or where i'm going to start.