We just sat there. Next to each other. In front of the Markthal. And both of us were quiet. He had stopped sobbing. I heard him breathing. It was slow and heavy. And suddenly I wanted to hug him. I looked at him. He was staring to the ground and he looked so vulnerable. I tried to get his attention. There was no response.
'Are you feeling any better?' I asked him.
He looked up to me and I saw him fighting against the tears. He took a deep breath and started telling me how he had become a fangirl. It was because people kept calling him a posh-boy since he was a kid. And by fangirling he could forget the pain. He could focuss on other things. Until he started making YouTube video's he had always felt like a loser. But once he started to make video's for his channel, the fan-accounts on Instagram almost exploded with compliments and stuff like that. He liked it, but since he and I started talking on Whatsapp, he began to feel like a piece of meat in front of hungry dogs. Like he wasn't human. And like I was the only person who treated him like a normal person.
And while he was telling this I felt my face turning red. I hadn't expected any of this. I had always thought I was one of those stalketive fans who kept sending him messages until I had got his attention. And instead of feeling special by hearing all of this I felt ashamed for not noticing his pain. He looked at me and sighed.
'Thank you for listening,' he said.
I looked back at him and suddenly I felt tears coming up and I started crying.
I told him about the things I had gone through and I told him I was glad that there was finally someone who understood me. Someone who didn't judge by looks or the first impression. Someone who gave me a chance. I cried until my eyes began to hurt of all the tears.
And then I felt it. His hand resting on my back.
And I looked up, right in to his eyes.
'It's okay to cry. Come here.'
And then he hugged me. Like my mother used to do when I was a little kid. Gentle.
He gave me forehead kisses and whispered in my ear '... it's going to be okay...'
And it made me feel safe.
YOU ARE READING
The Story of Two Fangirls
FanfictionSeamus Gorman has a lot of subscribers on his YouTube channel, but there's this one fan... She's the best fan he's ever had. She doesn't like him because of the fame, or because of his succes. She loves him for who he is. In her eyes he's her soulma...
