The girl with two hearts

Chapter 7

"I'm off to bed!" Donna announces.
"Sleep well!" the Doctor calls after her as she leaves the console room.

When she's out of sight he turns to Ashie.
"Talking about sleep... At what time does Rose put you to bed? Not that there's really any time in the TARDIS, but still..."
"I don't sleep much", she giggles.
"What? Not at all?"
"A few hours."
"Per day?"
She nods.

Well, if Donna's just gone to sleep, he'll have to find a way to entertain his daughter. Especially if she barely sleeps at all. His daughter, who he knows very little about.

Ashie jumps down from the jump seat, walking around the console and inspecting it with her eyes filled with curiosity.
"What does this do?" she asks, rising up on her toes and reaching for the big level.
The Doctor spins around to see what she's doing.
"No no, don't touch that one! That's the hand break!"
Ashie's hand freezes mid-air and she slowly pulls it away from the lever, looking up at the Doctor.
"Sorry", she says and then she's bouncing around again, exploring the room.

The Doctor does his best to watch her every movement as she bounces back and forth between the coral pillers. She soon returns, carrying a yellow post-it note which she holds up to him. He recognizes it as one of the post-its he's put up around the TARDIS.

"Why have you got a note with circles on it?" Ashie asks.
"That's no circles, it's Gallifreyian", the Doctor explains.
"Huh?"
"The language of the Timelords."
"What's a Timelord?"

The Doctor has to take a few steps backwards and just breath. His own daughter doesn't know anything about her own species? What has Rose been telling her, exactly?

"A Timelord is... It's what I am. I'm a Timelord. And so are you. Or, well, there's still a bit of human in you."
"From Mummy?"
"Yup!"

***

They pass the time with the Doctor fiddling with the console and Ashie watching him, every now and then asking questions about what he's doing. He happily answers them. It's nice to happy company even when his human companion has gone to sleep. He used to spend these hours all alone with nothing but the TARDIS as company, but now he's actually got someone to talk to.

"What did Rose tell you about me, exactly?"
She smiles.
"She said you were a brilliant man with great hair. She said you weren't from Earth, and that you came to Earth in a wonderful blue box. She said you've saved so many lives and you made her so much better."
There's something dreamy in Ashie's eyes. Maybe she's thinking about her mother, and the stories she used to tell.

The Doctor shakes his head.
"Nah, not that last part. That isn't true."
"Huh?"
"I didn't make her better. She made me better. I was in a very dark place when I first met your mum. I didn't think I could save anything or anyone, only kill and destroy."
Ashie's eyes are wide with horror.
"Why?" she whimpers.
"I'd just done something horrible. I was so sad and so lonely and so angry at myself, and I didn't even want to live anymore. But then I met Rose, and she gave me a reason to live. If only to see her again and maybe get to know her."

A smile is spreading across his face as he speaks, and thinking about their first meeting makes him all warm and fuzzy. It was, without doubt, the best day of all his ten lives. Just like the day he lost her was the worst day of his lifes.

"What did you do, Daddy? What was so horrible?"
The second Ashie's question registers in his brain, the Doctor's hearts actually skip a beat. What is he doing!? What did he just almost tell a four year old girl!?

He starts pacing around the console room, hands showed into his pockets and his eyes glued to the floor.
"Daddy?" Ashie asks anxiously.
"Nothing, love. Nothing."
"But-"
"I don't want to talk about it!"

Ashie flinches at the Doctor's sudden outburst. She backs away, looking at him with big eyes. She takes a few shaking breaths and then the tears start to fall. The Doctor's anxiety turns into full blown panic and he rushes over to her, taking her in his arms. He lifts her up and carries her over to the jump seat, where he sits down and holds Ashie in his lap.

"I'm sorry, darling. I didn't mean to yell at you. I was just upset. When Daddy says he doesn't want to talk about something you have to respect that. You understand that, right?"
Ashie nods, but she doesn't seem convinced. She stays quiet though, leaning her head on his chest. The Doctor sighs, kissing her forehead.

The minutes go by, and Ashie seems to have a little trouble keeping her eyes open. She yawns as they finally fall shut, curling into a little ball in the Doctor's arms. He automatically wraps his arms tighter around her, like he needs protect her more when she's asleep. Like the TARDIS itself wasn't safe enough for her.

Having little Ashie in his arms, there's a warm fuzzyness in him. A warm, heart-melting happiness. He looks down at her, suddenly realizing she can't really be comfortable like that.

He slowly stands up, still holding Ashie close as he walks down the corridor to her bedroom. He slowly lays her down on the bed, kissing her forehead one last time before standing up and starting to leave the room.

"Daddy?"
He stops dead in his tracks at the sound of the little voice calling his name, spinning around. Ashie's awake, watching him with sleepy eyes.
"Yes, sweetheart?" he asks.
"I love you."

Something inside the Doctor breaks as his daughter says those words. It's his own daughter, and he can't even say it back! The words gets stuck in his throat, and then they stay there.

All he can really give her is a shaky nod before shutting the door.

A/N: I just wanna thank everyone who's read the story so far! I love you all, and don't forget to vote and/or comment if you like it!